Page 44 of Atlas
I feel something fizz in my chest. Not jealousy, not quite. Just that familiar ache that comes from realising someone you wanted to believe was still yours has already moved on.
“I’m going to get another drink,” I mutter, rising from my seat before anyone can stop me.
Because if I’m going to be here, I’m not going to bethatwoman who’s quiet in the shadows while another girl takes centre stage.
I fix my shoulders, smooth my expression, and head towards the bar.
I weave through the bodies with my chin high and my expression smooth, the kind of expression I’ve perfected after years of pretending I wasn’t quietly breaking. The laughter and music buzz around me like static, but my focus is sharp. Singular.
He hasn’t seen me yet.
Atlas is leaned against the makeshift bar, his beer dangling from his fingers, his smile easy and unbothered. Rue is still beside him. I clock the way she’s angled towards him like gravity’s pulling her in without permission. It’s subtle, but obvious once you know what to look for. I used to stand like that too.
I step up to the bar and reach for a bottle of water, twisting off the cap slowly. It takes him a second to notice. But when he does, he stills.
His eyes lock onto me, and the change is immediate. The smile fades. His spine straightens. That beer freezes halfway to his mouth.
I take a few long pulls; my eyes fixed on his. And when I come up for air, I force a tight smile. “Hi.”
“Anita,” he utters, and I still see it there in his eyes, that possessive glint. That burning heat for me.
Rue follows his gaze, maybe she can see it too. I don’t look at her, so she takes her gaze to the ground, shifting uncomfortably between us.
“I didn’t think you were talking to me,” I state.
His brows pinch together. “What?”
I let out a breathy laugh, shaking my head. “You haven’t been in touch. Not even a message.”
He shifts awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck like he’s a teenage boy who got caught skipping school. “I’ve been busy. Club stuff. Work.”
“Right,” I say, drawing the word out just enough to make my point as my eyes flick to her. “Of course.”
There’s a beat of silence, heavy and uncomfortable. Rue quietly excuses herself, mumbling something about needing the bathroom, but I don’t look at her. I keep my gaze on Atlas, steady and calm, even as my heart hammers in protest.
“Anyway,” I say, finishing the rest of my water and setting the bottle down, “I didn’t come over here to start anything. Just thought I’d say hi. Didn’t realise you had company.”
“Are you okay?” he asks.
“Is it a thing?” I counter.
He looks past me in the direction Rue went. “Yes.”
I didn’t expect it. That single word to break my heart, but it does, and I gently rub my hand over my chest to try and somehow ease it.
“Well,” I say, smoothing a hand down my jacket. “Enjoy the rest of your evening.”
I walk away before he can say anything else. Before I let my expression crack. Before I can break.
Chapter Nine
Atlas
“Everything okay?” Rue asks.
I’ve been quiet since out little encounter with Anita. I didn’t expect her to be here. Seeing her again is hard. It’s much easier when I’m with Rue and I can pretend Anita doesn’t exist. But now, faced with her, everything feels messy and painful.
“Yeah, fine.”
