Page 45 of Atlas
She bites on her lower lip for a second, like she’s finding the right words. “That was her, the posh woman Kasey told me about?”
“I didn’t know she’d be here,” I mutter, rubbing the back of my neck.
“If you want to go and talk to her, go,” she says. “I can find Kasey to keep me company.”
I shake my head. The last thing I want to do is send her off to Kasey who’s chatting with the guys. I don’t need to be getting into fights with my brothers if they try it on with Rue. “I don’t need to talk to her. I’ve said everything I need to.” And my words are true, there is nothing else to say.
“You sure?” she asks. “Because she keeps looking over here.”
“Ignore her.” Her eyes go back to where the old ladies are sitting. “Ignore her,” I repeat, a little too firmly. Rue blinks, surprised, and I exhale to soften the edge in my tone. “Sorry. It’s just . . . complicated.”
She nods slowly, the firelight catching the flecks of gold in her eyes. “I figured.”
I hate the way one look from Anita can yank me back in, and now, she consumes my thoughts again. She’s a hard habit to break, but one I have to if I want to keep seeing Rue.
She takes a sip of her drink and fiddles with the hem of her sleeve. “She’s really pretty.”
Her words surprise me, her tone is soft and unsure, like she’s comparing herself to Anita. I glance at her. “So are you.”
Her lips part slightly, like she wasn’t expecting that. She gives me a shy smile, but I can tell she’s still unsure. I’m not used to women like her. Women who doubt their beauty.
I lean against the side of the bar, turning slightly towards her. “Anita and I . . . we ended things badly. There’s a lot of history there, but it’s history for a reason.”
Rue studies me, like she’s trying to read between the lines. “Do you still love her?”
The question hits me in the chest. Not because I don’t have an answer, because I do. It just doesn’t fit into anything neat.
“I don’t know what I feel,” I admit, my voice low. “I thought I could put it all in a box and move on. But seeing her again . . .” I trail off, clenching my jaw. “It’s hard.”
Rue nods, looking down to the floor. “Thanks for being honest.”
I reach out, fingers brushing hers where they rest on the edge of the bar. “I’m glad you came.”
Her eyes lift to mine. “So am I.”
But there’s still that shadow between us, Anita’s presence, looming like smoke from the firepit. I can feel her gaze burning into my side.
I turn back towards the crowd. She’s still there, drink in hand, laughing at something one of the old ladies says. And yet, her eyes flick to me the second she thinks I’m not looking.
Rue follows my gaze. “You’re not as done as you think.”
“I don’t want her back,” I say quietly. I say the words with a confidence I don’t feel, but it’s not because I want Anita—I don’t think—more that she’s a habit I’m still trying to break.
“That doesn’t mean you’re over her.”
I sigh. Rue doesn’t say it like an accusation. More like a truth I haven’t wanted to face. She finishes her drink and offers me a half-smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “I’m gonna use the bathroom,” she says, stepping away before I can respond.
And I’m left standing there, the weight of two women and all the silence between us pressing against my chest.
Rue
I knew she’d follow. Maybe that’s why I came in here. She clearly has things to get off her chest and although I hate confrontation, I’d rather she just say what she needs to instead of staring at me.
I run my fingers through my hair, staring at my reflection whilst she drops her bag on the sink unit and rummages through. She pulls out a lipstick and glances at me through the mirror. “I’m glad he’s found someone,” she eventually says.
Her words surprise me. She doesn’t look glad at all. “It’s barely even begun,” I reply.
“But you like him?”
