Page 98 of Until Tomorrow
“We’re working on it,” I admitted. When he frowned, I elaborated, “I think we’re at a crossroads as a couple. Not that our marriage is in trouble… not really. I think this whole thing has made us realize that we’re not… happy. We got comfortable. We lost our way, and just… we’re trying to find our way backto each other. We’re trying to figure ourselves out. Eva’s… trying to find herself again.”
“And you? Are you happy?”
“I’m not unhappy. I don’t know that I’d say I’m happy, though, but I’m working on it. It’s not just my sexuality. I’ve become painfully aware of how much I don’t like my job. I don’t like the people we’re around—the people I’m trying to impress, and for what reason? I’ve taken off more days of work this year than I have in the entire time I’ve been at my job. I’ve realized that for my success, I’ve sacrificed my relationship with Eva, my friendship with you… I don’t see my family except maybe once a year. I don’t know… yeah, I just don’t know.”That was a lot of word vomit.
“It kind of sounds like you’re having an early midlife crisis, Logan,” Elliot commented.
“Aren’t midlife crises just realizing that you’re not happy and wanting to do something about it, so you don’t spend the rest of your life unhappy?” I said. Honestly, the more I reflected on Loren’s words, the more they made sense. I clung to them because I just wanted to be happy. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with that.
“I guess so. Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked. I just shrugged, unable to say the words to him. How was I supposed to tell my best friend that I fantasized about that damn almost kiss on repeat? That wasn’t something friends did. Sure, he’d been drunk, and it’d been a mistake, but I wanted it.And that was wrong.“You’re a shit liar, Logan. Even when you say nothing.”
“I wasn’t ready,” I replied. “I planned to tell you at some point. I just didn’t know when.”
He scrutinized me, those hazel eyes narrowing.Yeah, he could see right through me.I didn’t want him to push the matter. I wasn’t sure what I’d say if he did.
“Okay,” he relented quietly, much to my surprise. The conversation dropped as he focused on his water glass, twirling the ice around. He was a million miles away. I should’ve asked him why, but I wasn’t sure I wanted to know that either.
Honestly, the whole thing was a mess, and it was my fault. If I could just wrap my head around my feelings for Elliot and what to do with them, this whole thing would be easier.
Chapter 50
Elliot
Mybestfriendwasinterested in men.
The man I’d loved for the better part of my life was interested in men.
But not me.That implication was clear as day. Despite how my best friend was now into men, he still wasn’t into me. No, that was reserved for a guy named Loren.I hated Loren.
Really, I was just jealous of him. He had the one thing I wanted—the one thing I’d never have.
I swallowed hard as I stared up at the cloudy afternoon sky. I didn’t want to go home, and I didn’t want to go see Eva. That would be better done when I wasn’t so inside my head. No, I wanted to drink.A lot.But I didn’t want to do it alone, so I called the one person who made sense for an endeavor like this.
“Are we about to make this twenty-four blowjobs?” Rhett asked when he answered the phone.
“Fuck, I wish,” I grumbled.
“What?”
“Look,” I said, clearing my throat before I continued with more awkward shit, “I know we’re not friends and that you’re just the firehouse’s unofficial mechanic, but is there a chance you’d like to get a drink with me? I needto talk to someone, and I need a fucking drink like my life depends on it.”
The silence on the other end wasn’t encouraging. It lingered for so long that I almost rescinded my request.
“Why the hell not?” He sighed. “It’s not like the muses are talking to me anyway.”
“The what?” That was the second time I’d heard him say that, and I didn’t have a clue what it meant.
“I’m at my studio, and this slab of clay won’t talk.” The words coming out of his mouth made no sense.
“It what?”
“I’m a sculptor.”
“I thought you were a mechanic,” I retorted.
“I am,” Rhett replied. “I do both. Wait until you find out I’m in a band.”
“You’re so wildly fascinating,” I commented in awe. “I’ll text you the bar. Get ready for a fuck ton of day drinking.”
