Page 46 of What Broke First
Emily blinked at him. “Her name’s Aurora now. Sparkle Bean was so last week.”
“Oh,” Jordan replied, momentarily thrown.
“And she says you’re boring,” Emily added, before popping a goldfish cracker into her mouth.
Jordan laughed awkwardly. “Out of the mouths of babes, huh?”
Matt didn’t laugh. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep from doing a victory dance.
Later, as the kids ran off for snacks and Sarah went to talk to one of the moms, Matt and Jordan ended up under the tent alone. The silence was like a sandstorm, dry and tense.
Jordan broke it. “I was surprised when Sarah reached out to me for another date. And here I thought you were worming your way back in.”
Matt turned to him, voice calm. “Nah, she’s all yours.”
Jordan leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “It appears that she is actually trying to move on. I guess I make her feel safe. You make her feel... history.”
Matt let that settle. Safe vs. history. He wanted her to feel both when he was around. That she could exhale and unravel, that she could laugh and remember who she used to be. He wanted to be her refuge and her rush. But maybe that ship had already sailed.
Jordan eyed him carefully. “So you’re just going to give up? After all this time trying?”
Matt turned slowly, meeting his gaze. “Give up?” He gave a hollow laugh. “No. I’m doing the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m letting go.”
Jordan raised an eyebrow, “That’s a hell of a spin on quitting.”
Matt leaned back in his chair, looking up at the sky like it held the answer.
“You think this is easy? Watching the person you love pretend you’re a chapter they already closed? I’ve been showing up, over and over. Begging in ways you’ll never understand. And it’s not enough. She deserves someone who doesn’t feel like a war she has to win every day. And I deserve someone who looks at me like I’m still worth the damn fight.”
He looked over again, sharper now. “But just remember, I’ve got something you’ll never have.”
Jordan raised an eyebrow, cool and curious.
“I’m a good Dad. And...she loved me first. She loved me hard. And maybe she still does. I have come to realize, as of the last few days, that she will more than likely never come back to me, so I concede. I love her enough to not intrude on her life anymore outside of co-parenting our children.”
Matt didn’t wait for a response. He stood, nodded, and walked toward the snack stand where Emily was convincing the vendor she had enough imaginary money to buy three rainbow slushies.
What he didn’t know was that Sarah had come back toward the tent looking for her water bottle.
She paused just beyond the edge of the canvas, frozen. She’d heard it. All of it. Matt’s voice, steady, resigned, landed like a punch to the ribs. He was letting go.
Her throat tightened. She wanted to step out, to stop him, to undo whatever cosmic misstep had led to this. But her legs wouldn’t move. The air felt too thin, the moment too raw.
Panic crept up her spine, quiet and relentless. She had asked for space, and he had finally taken her at her word. God. Jordan. It wasn’t that she didn’t like him. She did. Maybe more than she wanted to admit.
He was kind, attentive, the type of man who remembered coffee orders and made friends with unicorn-loving six-year-olds. He deserved more, so much more—than being dragged into her emotional fallout.
Wrong place. Wrong time. Wrong girl.
She hadn’t meant to use him as a buffer. But that’s what it was, wasn’t it?
A soft landing when the real fall was too much to face. And now, the thought of Jordan catching feelings while she stood here aching for someone else made her stomach churn with guilt.
Because Matt wasn’t waiting anymore, he was walking away.
Saturday came quickly. Date night.
The restaurant was trendy, loud, and dimly lit in that way that made everyone look a little more attractive than they probably were.
