Page 45 of What Broke First
Matt’s voice cracked with something raw. “Who says I'm moving on?"
Dr. Colleen lifted a hand, her voice steady and grounded. “Okay. This is the moment where we slow down and pay attention. You’re not fighting each other; you’re fighting the fear of being replaced. Of being left behind. Of healing at different paces.”
They both went quiet, the air thick with everything unsaid.
Dr. Colleen leaned in gently. “Sarah, it’s okay to be unsure. But Matt deserves clarity, even if it’s incomplete. And Matt, it’s okay to feel angry. But you can’t punish her for protecting herself.”
Matt exhaled, dragging a hand over his face. “I’m not trying to punish her. I just... I feel like I’m standing on the edge of something I already lost. And every time I try to get closer, I get reminded that it might already be too late.”
Sarah’s voice was barely audible. “I didn’t know it would hurt to hear you were dating. I thought I wanted that. I thought it meant I could let go.”
Dr. Colleen let the silence hold them both for a moment, then said softly, “This is a rupture. But it doesn’t have to be the end. Sometimes the break is what lets in the light. What you do next, how you respond, not react, that’s where healing lives.”
Matt looked at Sarah. “I don’t want anyone else. I want you.”
Sarah didn’t answer right away. But this time, she didn’t look away.
She just nodded once. “I know.”
The session ended with no firm resolution, but Dr. Colleen called it one of their most productive yet. She wasn’t wrong.
They left separately, as always.
And Matt drove home wondering if hope was a gift or a slow, beautiful kind of torture.
WithToo Sweetby Hozier playing low on the stereo, the question began to shift. For the first time since his mistake, he wondered if he should just cut his losses, focus on the kids, his career, maybe getting partner. Maybe that was the version of the future he needed to accept. The ex-husband. The co-parent. The friend.
But not the husband. Not the one she chose.
He didn’t blame Sarah. He couldn’t. And he sure as hell didn’t want her to come back out of guilt or muscle memory.
Still, as the song played on, Matt’s grip on the wheel tightened. He hadn’t stopped loving her. He just wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep hoping that might be enough.
Chapter 24: Under the Tent
Jordan was everything Matt wasn’t. Well-groomed, punctual, respectful, charming in that way that made you want to punch him. He could discuss antique furniture and remember Sarah’s favorite pizza order. He even knew Emily’s favorite animal. (Spoiler: it wasn’t even a real animal, it was a unicorn-pegasus hybrid named Sparkle Bean.)
Matt hated that guy; even with the pep talk he gave him at the hardware store, he would never warm up to him.
He hated him even more when he showed up at Tommy’s soccer game in designer sunglasses and loafers that had definitely never touched a blade of grass.
Sarah re-introduced him casually, as if Matt should just nod and be grateful that Jordan was so... beige. And expensive.
“Hi, Jordan,” Matt said, forcing a smile. “Glad you could join us on this scorcher.”
Jordan smiled with a calm, slow nod, like he was accepting an Oscar for Best Supporting Non-Dad.
“Wouldn’t miss it. Tommy’s a real hustler.”
“Oh, he is,” Matt replied. “Got it from me.”
“Mm,” Jordan hummed. “That’s sweet.”
Matt wanted to slap that mm off his well-moisturized face. But it was Emily, sweet, blunt Emily, who gave Matt his first win.
As they sat together under a little pop-up tent Sarah had brought, Jordan tried too hard. He crouched down in front of her.
“Hey, kiddo, how’s Sparkle Bean doing these days?”
