Page 65 of Hidden Vows
“I swear I’ll never keep anything from you again. The only secrets I’ll keep are the good ones, like surprising you with your favorite meal,” I whisper, trying desperately to lighten the mood.
It works partially. I feel the muffled laugh against my neck more than I hear it, but the thing that makes me relax is when she climbs into my lap, making herself more comfortable with her legs wrapped around me where I sit on the couch.
“That sounds like a good plan.” She clings to me like a monkey and I love every second of it.
I don’t move or say anything else, not wanting to ruin this moment between us. I know I still need to fill her inon the author front, but the fact that she’s not demanding I leave after revealing everything with her dad feels far more important.
“Are we okay?” I tighten my arms around her, a little scared of what she’ll say.
“Yeah, we’re okay.” She pulls back just enough to meet my eyes, and even though it’s clear she’s been crying, I’m still struck dumb by how beautiful she is.
“I don’t know how I’ve gotten lucky enough to have another chance with you, but I swear I’ve learned from my past—even if this doesn’t look like it.” I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, cupping her cheek in my hand. “No more secrets, I promise.”
Her lips land on mine, and I know we’re going to be okay—we’re going to be more than okay.
twenty-nine
ABBEY
“I’m sorry.It’s been how long?” Ava asks in disbelief. “Why the hell haven’t you told me sooner?”
“Yeah, that’s the most important part of this?” Quinn rolls her eyes in exasperation.
“You two are like children,” Emily murmurs, her eyes focusing on me. “We’re gonna need you to go back to two weeks ago and tell us what happened, because last we all talked you weren’t sure what really happened when you were a teenager.”
My eyes wander to Jude where he stands with the guys by the grill. It’s nice to see the small smile on his face as Declan, Gage, and Caleb laugh at something Max must’ve said. Unsurprisingly, his eyes meet mine a few seconds later.
Ever since he came clean about everything that happened with his author career and my dad, we’ve been so connected to each other. I felt connected to him the second he walked back into my life a little over two months ago, but this link between us is different. There’s a peace now that wasn’t there before.
I still find myself staring at him whenever he’s around, like I’m afraid he’ll disappear if we’re away from each other for too long. But that thought evaporates quicker and quicker every timeit shows its ugly head.
“I didn’t go home after I left your place that night.” I bring my focus back to the ladies in front of me and tell them the truth. “Well, I mean, I did. But instead of going into my apartment I went to Jude’s.”
“And he told you what happened?” Ava raises a hand to cover her mouth at the look Quinn and Emily throw her way. Not that it stops her from talking through her fingers. “Sorry. I’ll hold my questions until the end.”
“No, he didn’t tell me what happened, but only because I wouldn’t let him.” I fidget with the bottle in my hand, not loving the light I’m about to paint myself in. “Honestly, I threw myself at him, begging him for sex, and then I ran out just as things were getting good because I realized it was a mistake.”
“Oh-kayyy…” Quinn drags the word out, emphasizing each syllable, but there’s no judgment in her eyes.
When I look at Ava and Emily, they’re both staring back the same way, simply waiting for me to continue. I don’t know what else I’m expecting. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about these women, it’s that we’ve all used sex in one way or another. Whether it was to prove we still had power and control in those moments, or because we just needed to feel something, we’ve all tried to make sex the answer to our problems.
Taking a breath, I give them the rest. “I missed helping out at the bookstore because I ran away to my dad’s in an effort to avoid Jude. There was no way he wasn’t going to try talking to me when I work and live next door to him. Of course, my dad came home from his business trip and made it very clear his feelings about Jude have not changed.” I pause, taking a gulp of air and then my drink, letting my mind settle before I continue.
“I asked him point blank why he hates Jude and he refused totell me. All he said was that I’m just like my mother and no matter what I’d always choose Jude over him.”
“Wow. Did your mom ever choose Walt over your dad?” Ava asks quietly.
“I have no idea.” I throw my hands up in the air, more than exasperated with the entire situation. “I can’t think of any time my mother didn’t drop everything to be there for my father when he asked, but then again, I know I don’t know everything about their relationship. Is it possible?” I shrug. “Of course, it’s possible.”
“What happened after you talked to your dad?” Emily asks in the silence that follows.
“I went home.” My eyes move back to Jude and I feel my shoulders relax. I didn’t even realize I’d been holding so much tension in them until I felt them physically deflate, just from laying eyes on the man across the yard.
“You went home and…” Ava probes when I don’t continue.
“And Jude showed up at my door. He refused to walk away until I agreed to talk to him.”
“So you opened the door, and he confessed his love for you and told you it was all a lie!” Ava rushes to say, interrupting me yet again.
