Page 64 of Hidden Vows
Her eyes come back to mine and I hate that I see tears welling in the corners. I reach for her but she doesn’t let me. She slides from her seat and rushes away.
“Abbey, wait!” I call after her, grabbing my laptop and following her path out the back door and up to our apartments.
Her door is open when I make it up the stairs, and relief courses through me at seeing that. She may be upset, but she wants to talk about it.
“Mo ghrá.” I’m not fighting fair using that name, but I’m okay with that. I’ll use anything I can to make her listen to me.
I place my computer on the island in her kitchen and walk up to her where she stands facing her bookshelves. Just like the bookstore downstairs used to be—and how I’m sure it’ll look again—they’re filled to the brim. And right in front of her, at eye level, is the shelf filled with my books.
“Jude.” She sighs, spinning on her heel to look at me. Her eyes are still wet, but now I see anger building in their depths. “I understand not telling me at first, but how many chances have you had since then?”
“I know.” My eyes fall to the floor for only a moment before I face her again. “I know I should have told you. If not when you were tearing my book apart, then definitely at some point over the last few days.”
“Oh god.” Her eyes fall shut and she lifts a hand to cover them, as if she needs the extra layer of protection. Like if she’s unable to see me, I won’t be able to see her. “I can’t believe you let me say all those things.”
“No, Abs.” I grasp her wrist gently, pulling her hand away from her face. “That’s why I didn’t say anything that day. I always want the truth from you. I never want you to filter your thoughts with me—about anything.”
She studies me for a moment, the tears making another appearance. “Exactly.”
“Abbey—”
“No, Jude,” she interrupts. She pulls her hand from mine, crossing her arms over her chest, but she doesn’t step away from me. “That’s the point. You’ve shared so much with me over the last four days, except you’ve been filtering yourself. It’s not like you’re some unknown author. You’re literally one of the best in your genre.”
“I know.”
“It might be dramatic, but if you’ve kept this from me, what’s to say there isn’t something else you’re keeping from me? Or what’s to say something doesn’t happen in the future that you decide to keep from me?”
“It’s not dramatic,” I whisper, lifting my eyes to the shelf overher shoulder.
She’s right. It’s not the biggest thing I’ve kept from her, but that doesn’t really matter when you take our past into consideration. The entire reason I needed this second chance was because I kept something massive from her. If I want this to work, I can’t keep anything from her, big or small.
“I’ll tell you everything you want to know about this part of my life”—I gesture to the books behind her—“but I think there’s something else I need to tell you first.”
Abbey’s entire body deflates as her arms fall to her sides. “What?” The word is pure dejection, and I hate that her mind has probably gone to the worst possible scenario.
I don’t beat around the bush; I tell her the truth—hoping she’ll forgive me for keeping yet another secret from her. “Your dad’s been in to see me at Murphy’s three times since I’ve been home. Each time he’s warned me to stay away from you.”
“What?” She gasps in disbelief.
“I’m not saying me being AJ Doherty isn’t important—it absolutely is—but you’re right that I need to be better about not keeping things to myself. If I want this to work, and you know I do, then I have to do better.”
“Jude,” she chokes out, the tears back with a vengeance.
Without holding anything back, I pull Abbey over to the couch and tell her everything.
I tell her about the first time he came into the bar after he saw me at the bookstore with her. I tell her about the second time shortly after Ava and Declan’s birthday party, after he heard Marybelle talking about how sweet it was that I’d been helping out at the bookstore. And I tell her about the last time he showed up, the same night she came to my apartment after her ladies’ night at Emily’s.
I fill her in on my belief that it’s him causing the decrease in customers at Murphy’s—I don’t have any proof, but it fits with his initial threat to me seventeen years ago. And finally, I tell her about my concerns with him being an investor in the bookstore.
After the threats he’s made—especially the ones that I know would hurt Abbey the most—I don’t trust he won’t do something to destroy her dreams.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth sooner, Abbey.” I squeeze the hand I’ve been holding in mine since we sat down, trying to make her meet my eyes. “It shouldn’t have taken you pointing out how important it is for me to tell you what’s been going on. Especially when this is the reason for everything that happened before.”
“Is this all of it?” she asks quietly, her eyes still focused on our hands in my lap.
“Yeah, love. That’s all of it.”
She doesn’t move or say anything at first, just sits there cross-legged on the couch facing me, but without warning she falls forward, burying her head in my chest and wrapping her arms around my shoulders.
