Page 60 of Hidden Vows
Anyone who knows Walt, even the smallest amount, knows he would’ve given up Murphy’s in a heartbeat if it meant his son washappy. But I also know Walt wouldn’t have given up without a fight.
We’ve all lost so much time and nothing we do can ever get that back. Of course, who would we all be if Jude never left? What kind of life would we have?
There’s no guarantee Jude and I would’ve stayed together the last seventeen years. We could’ve ended up divorced no matter what. And say we divorced ten years ago, five years ago, would there have ever been a chance we’d find our way back to each other?
We may have lost seventeen years together, but there’s a chance we have the rest of our lives to make up for it.
We are who we are because of our time apart. And even if I’ve been lonely more often than not in the last seventeen years, the last seven months have been pretty amazing. The friendships I’ve made and the steps I’ve taken to make my dream of owning a bookstore a reality are things I might’ve missed out on if even one moment in my past changed.
What good did playingwhat ifever accomplish?
“Something smells good in here.” Jude’s sleep filled voice hits my ear at the same time his arms wrap around my waist, making me jump in surprise. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you,” he murmurs against my neck where his lips rest.
The comfort that washes over me is instant, and I can’t deny how right it feels—being in his arms, having him in my space, waking up next to him.
“Not your fault,” I whisper, resting my hand over his where it sits on my stomach. “I tend to get lost when I’m in the kitchen, nothing else exists around me.”
“Now, that I remember.” Even if I didn’t feel the smile against my skin, I hear it clear as day in his voice, and a bit more of thatfear disappears.
Neither one of us are shying away from our past, and that feels like a good foundation for our future.
twenty-seven
JUDE
“What are you up to today?”I lean back in my seat next to Abbey at the table, my eyes focused on her.
I haven’t been able to take my eyes off her since I walked out of her room this morning. There was a moment of pure panic when I woke up and she wasn’t in the bed next to me. I thought I imagined everything that happened last night—the intimacy we shared, the trust I thought we’d been rebuilding—but then the smell of something amazing wafted through the door, and I knew it wasn’t a dream.
I slipped from the bed and pulled on my boxers before opening her bedroom door. The sight of her in the kitchen made me pause. She was in profile, her hair thrown up in a knot on top of her head and her bare legs peeked out from the hem of my black T-shirt where it fell to her mid-thigh.
There was something about Abbey in my clothes that made me feral for her, and I hoped that feeling was something I never got used to.
Abbey’s always been a fan of cooking and baking, so seeing her in the kitchen at any point during the day wasn’t out of the norm when we were together, but it was a sight I thought I’d neversee again.
I leaned against the doorjamb, simply watching her as she moved about the space. There was a grace to her movements, almost like a choreographed dance designed to draw the audience in, and I didn’t want to disrupt her, but the need I had to touch her was something I couldn’t ignore.
The way she immediately melted into me when my arms wrapped around her had that last remaining bit of panic disappear entirely. I know we still had more to work through, but I truly believed we could do it.
“I need to stop by the store. I haven’t been all week, and I know George will be there today. And I need to go to the grocery store. I was barely able to pull this together with everything I had in the fridge.” She chuckles as she places her napkin on the table next to her plate and brings her eyes to mine. “I was thinking about going to visit your dad too. I haven’t been to see him in a while.”
I contemplate keeping the next words to myself, not wanting to come off as needy, but I quickly decide that I don’t care if she thinks I’m needy. When it comes to Abbey, I’m absolutely desperate to spend time with her. “Mind if I tag along?”
Her eyes fall to the table but the smile that splits her lips is still visible, and I can’t help but smile in return. “You want to come along on my errands day?” She lifts her eyes back to mine and leans her elbow on the table, bringing herself closer to me.
“Abbey, I want to spend all my time with you,” I tell her honestly.
I don’t want to smother her, but I’ve gone way too long without her in my life, and now that there’s a chance we might be able to find our way back to each other? I don’t want to miss a single opportunity to be with her.
“Okay,” she says softly.
Her eyes bounce around my face, studying me for a few moments before she lifts her hand to cup my cheek, her thumb stroking back and forth across my beard before she leans in to press a kiss to my lips.
I know it’s supposed to be a quick peck before we start our day, but the moment her lips touch mine I need her. Wrapping an arm around her waist I lift her into my lap, her legs straddling mine. She releases a gasp of shock at the sudden move and I take full advantage, slipping my tongue between her lips.
The moan she releases has me shifting my hips, my hardening cock pressing into her core, desperate to feel her again.
My reaction to her closeness is instant. There’s nothing but tenderness in her look and touch, and yet my body is ready for so much more with her. Not just my body, my mind and heart too.
