Page 112 of Any Second Now
The guy Atticus hired to repaint the Pink Palace. A week ago, he started showing up to work a few hours a day. I have no idea what’s going on under the tarp he has covering my RV from the door all the way across, with a hole cute out for the window. It’s definitely more than a simple re-paint of the peeling side of the vehicle.
“Hi. Still painting?”
“Yup. Almost done.”
“Need anything?” I’m very curious to what Atticus meant bypermission to be a little creative.It seems unnecessary to be creative when my summer with the RV is almost over, but it’s hard to say no to that man.
But now I think I need to.
“No, thank you.” The artist turns and heads back to the popped trunk of his car.
I gotta go talk to Atticus. It’s a conversation I’m absolutelydreading. And ten minutes later, I’m in my SUV heading into town.
I park a few blocks from his apartment and wander around, past Rocky Gifts, the gift shop where I stopped when I first arrived in Fort Collins and asked if they had any cross-stitch in their local artist shelf, past the bookstore where Rose works and then Deep Roots, the coffee shop. I avoid the brewery where I met up with Jacob last night. Avoid Black Diamond, the bar I’ve been frequenting with the hockey boys.
Too soon, I’m in front of his apartment building with a dreadful truth swirling in my head.
I need to break up with him.
There’s one thing Jacob said last night that broke me:please don’t go off and marry someone else as a rebound.
I was angry, but then the words sunk in. And the fact that I’d used that exact word—rebound—with Atticus as a joke.
It feels a lot less funny now.
My phone buzzes—it’s Lucy again.
I ignore her. Again.
Me
Can you come down here?
Atticus
hey. I’ll buzz you up
Me
No, please come down
I can’t go upstairs with Atticus. I can’t be in that apartment with him again. My clothes will fly off and I might accidentally tell him I’m in love with him.
Because—dammit—I’m in love with him.
I know that now.
I knew it the moment Jacob said those dark words.
Because I know if I did tell Atticus I loved him, if we didactually get together, it wouldn’t be a rebound. But no one else would know that. Everyone would think I’m doing what I always do.
Part of me hopes he insists I come upstairs. Maybe if he just buzzes me in, I’ll head on up. Maybe if he doesn’t listen to me, then it’ll all work out.
But a few seconds later, the door opens and Atticus Knox is standing in front of me.
“Raleigh,” he says, and it feels like goodbye already. I can see it on his face. Was he already going to break up with me? Maybe I should just wait him out and make him do it. Make him break my heart instead of forcing me to do it to myself.
“I can’t do this anymore. Us.” The words are hardly audible. I cross my arms on my chest, balling up my fists and tucking them under. I can’t trust myself not to reach for him. My face heats and pin pricks tingle down my spine.
