Page 94 of Since We're Here
Thursday, 20 March
Having Maddie here this week has been everything.
Last night, Erin and Niamh came over and hung out for a few hours after school. Saoirse needed my help with the girls while she covered a shift at O’Brien’s.
My nieces taught Maddie how to make the scones Mam showed them a few weeks ago, and there was so much giggling and squealing from the kitchen that my heart practically exploded in my chest. Then Mam stopped by to check out the finished product and not-subtly meet Maddie. They all laughed and talked and bonded. It was like she’s part of the family.
And that thought terrifies me.
Look at us right now.
She’s naked in my giant claw-footed tub, white bubbles all around her. Steam rises from the hot water, and I’m kneeling behind her on the bathroom floor, gently digging my fingers into her scalp to work the shampoo through dark strands of hair. Her feet peek out from the bubbles at the bottom of the tub, showing off the new three-heart tattoo she got on her left ankle after ourfight on Friday night. I found it while kissing every centimeter of her body on Tuesday.
I’m washing a woman’s hair. And loving it.
I’m also begging the bubbles to shift so I can see more than the peak of her nipples.
“Sit up so I can rinse.” My voice cracks as I shift my legs to make room for the raging hard-on beneath my joggers. My shirt’s already off so it didn’t get soaked. There are so many feelings swirling inside me. Desire, affection, confusion. Love.
Christ, I love her.
“You’re spoiling me.” She leans forward, and I turn the handheld showerhead on and start rinsing the sides of her hair. “I don’t think someone’s washed my hair for me since I was a kid. Besides the hairdresser. And that’s not the same vibe.”
“It’s my pleasure, love.” I swallow hard and run my hands down her soft strands, letting my knuckles trail along her bare back. When the water’s clear, I turn it off and stand.
“All done?” She looks up at me and shifts her body, and now her breasts are fully above the water.
I nod.
“Are you going to join me in here before it gets cold?” Maddie holds her hand out.
“If you insist.” I practically leap out of my pants and splash into the water, making her laugh as I roll onto my back and pull her on top of me, kissing her lips, her neck, her collarbone.
It’s so easy to be with her in every way.
An hour later, we’re on the couch pretending to watch another movie. I’m braiding her damp hair as she sits between my legs. Her eyes are closed, and little happy whimpers keep coming out of her throat.
“I can’t believe you know how to French braid.”
I pull another section of hair into the thick plait, careful to smooth out the strand and link it securely around my finger so it lies flat.
“I learned so I could get the girls to school or soccer.” I pause. “Erin is very picky about her hair, so I watched about one hundred YouTube videos to learn to her satisfaction.”
“You’re an incredible uncle. And brother. And son.”
Normally, that’s one of my main goals in life. But this week, I’ve felt like I’m in some kind of alternate universe. Being with Maddie is all that’s mattered.
I’ve only gone to the brewery for a few hours a day even though there’s so much to get done. I can’t believe I delayed the Wellington Pubs meeting. It was a stupid decision. I was ready. I could’ve been gone on Tuesday just for the day. Saoirse or my parents would’ve happily checked on Maddie.
I could’ve requested a video call instead.
There were any number of solutions besides canceling the most important meeting of my post-soccer career.
And now Wellington’s not responding to my messages asking for new dates. I might’ve lost the biggest chance I had to change the future of Slea Head Brewery.
But I couldn’t bring myself to leave Maddie.
I cross another length of hair and carefully thread a new chunk in. Maddie opens her eyes and watches the movie, where the couple is screwing up their fake relationship by kissing for real in front of their friends at a party.
