Page 95 of Since We're Here
“You sure you don’t have a headache?” I finish the plait and secure it with one of Niamh’s stray hair ties.
She shakes her head. “Not for a few days now. You’ve taken good care of me.”
“Come here.” I gently tug her up to the couch. She complies and snuggles in next to me. The feel of her is heaven.
“This is nice.” She lays her legs across my lap and leans her head on my shoulder.
I’ve never met anyone like her. Maybe I’ve just never let myself fall into someone like this before. But somehow, this woman’s slipped through to me.
I’m hopelessly in love with her.
“It is.” I kiss the top of her head and rub her legs.
“I feel different with you than I have with any other man.”
I breathe out. So it’s not just me feeling this way. But the thought of her with another man is nauseating.
“I’m lucky that your ex fecked up enough that you are here with me now.”
“Blue was nothing.” Maddie huffs and shakes her head.
“Have you had a lot of boyfriends before him?”
She blinks up at me. “Kinda.”
“Tell me more.” I don’t know why I ask.
“You really want to know?”
No, I don’t, but I nod my head anyway. For a few seconds I don’t think she’s going to say anything more.
“I have a bad habit of dating people I work with.”
I raise my eyebrows and try to ignore the acceleration of my heartbeat. She and I are working together. It’s no big deal though. I’ve been engaged. Surely that’s more baggage than?—
“There were ten jobs. Ten boyfriends.”
“Ten?” My hands freeze on her thighs.
“Including Blue and the volunteer project.” Maddie stares at me intently. “A lot of them were no big deal. Everyone makes stupid mistakes in their love life in their twenties, right?”
I nod, doing my best to keep my expression clear.
“What about the other ones? Besides the ones who were no big deal? Were they serious?”
She shrugs and watches my hands, which I start moving again. “Maybe.”
I don’t push for more. I’m imagining her thinking about ten other men, and it’s not a good feeling. I’m imagining that I’m number eleven. I don’t like that either.
“I’m sick of my bad decisions with men ruining jobs for me.”
“How did they ruin jobs?”
She pulls her long plait over her shoulder, playing with the hair tie at the bottom, staring down at Niamh’s pink elastic. “When things inevitably go wrong with the guy, I quit.”
A cold feeling settles inside me. Every time something goes wrong with a boyfriend, she flees? That idea is terrifying.
“Do you want to hear about them? It might be good therapy for me.”
