Page 122 of Since We're Here
“Have you talked to Patrick since our first night?” Reese asks.
I groan and shift from one foot to the other. “Can we not talk about that?”
“No,” my sisters say in unison.
“Ugh.” I groan. “Reese, I hate that I might be making things awkward on your big trip.”
“This isourtrip, not just mine. And while I wouldn’t be super excited if you guys hated each other, we’ll find a way to make it work. We’ll keep you separated at the wedding somehow.”
“We don’t hate each other.” I’d kinda hoped we could turn things into a friendship during this trip, but there’s too much baggage between us.
“And after the wedding, you never have to see each other again,” Reese says.
“Which makes you feel how, Maddie?” Stella tilts her head.
Fucking awful.
“Things are over with me and Patrick. He doesn’t want me in his life, for one reason or another.” I hate how my voice catches at the end. The regret that’s simmering inside my chest overflows and burns my heart.
“Stella,” Ethan calls from through the fog. A few feet from him, Oliver emerges and holds his hand out for Reese.
“I’ll make sure the mist doesn’t consume the car,” I call as my sisters walk into the thick ground cloud to join their partners.
It’s then that Patrick steps into visibility, hands in his pockets, watching me from ten feet away.
A lump forms in my throat. I love what I’ve figured out about myself in London. But I wish I could’ve done it earlier. In Saint Lucia. At one of the nine jobs I had before that.
But mostly while I was with Patrick in Dingle.
For that short period of time, he made me feel so good. He looked at me like I was a magical creature, not scared away by his grumbling or stony looks. He didn’t judge my decisions. He invited me into his home, took care of me, picked the mushrooms off my plate, and washed my damn hair.
And when he pushed me away, I let him. I ran.
Now it’s too late. We wasted the little time we had together. It’s truly over.
Warmth fills my chest as I remember the feel of his arms around me, the way his hazel eyes would bore into my very soul. He was really into me.
I’ve been in love with him for a long time.
But I’ve ruined it.
He’s ruined it.
I will him to wave me over, hold out a hand, smile... anything.
But he just turns and disappears into the fog.
33
PATRICK
Wednesday, 23 April
Ifollow Oliver onto the swaying Carrick-a-Rede rope bridge, which connects the small island to the mainland. Threatening clouds stretch across the sky, and I’m shocked we’re not soaked already.
I don’t normally have a fear of heights, but we’re thirty meters above the rocky shoreline and the bridge is swaying back and forth in the strong wind. But it’s not exactly a solitary experience, as there’s people ahead of us following the path to the tiny fisherman’s cottage on the island, and there’s a line behind us to cross the bridge once we’re over. Reese and Maddie are next, and Ethan and Stella are behind them.
There’s a small child with their granny ahead of us, laughing.
