Page 57 of Wolf's Claimed Mate
Conall cursed, his entire body going tight with tension. “That fucking—”
I cut his angry comment off. “He never wantedme, he wanted the species I had in me. It was all a ploy. That was why he never pushed me for sex. He’d literally signed my body away to Kato when he deemed it time.”
“Sasha,” Conall murmured. “Sasha, can I hold you?”
I hesitated but eventually caved, letting myself accept that I wanted to be held up at that moment. Sadness overwhelmed me, the anger, the weight of what Jackson had done—whyme—blazed through me murderously. I would see him pay for it. For every second I spent naively wasting on him, he would pay.
And in his eyes, I saw that Conall wanted to do the same thing.
I finished my wine and let myself fall into his embrace, pressing my face to his chest, just breathing in his scent.
“I swore I’d never let myself trust another male wolf shifter,” I told him. “Let alone… get close to one.”
“I’m honored,” he said lightly, opting to break the hard tension in the room from the topics. “But Sasha… I really can’t apologize enough for those comments I made. I didn’t know how—”
“True they were? Or almost were?”
I lifted my head to look at him. He nodded, but I only shook my head and kissed him deeply. Conall was not Jackson,and Fenrys’s pack was not Kato’s pack. Or whoever the pack belonged to now.
“Relying on myself has been so much easier,” I whispered. Conall nodded again, like he now finally understood properly. “He was my first boyfriend and he broke my trust. It’s hard to think about letting myself… what?”
I cut myself off when I saw his expression change into a slightly stricken look.
“Your first boyfriend?”
“Yes.”
“And you never slept with him?”
Fuck.
I shook my head, biting my lip.
“Have you slept with… anyone?”
I let my silence do the talking for me. I breathed deeply—in and out, in and out, focusing only on the lungs expanding, like I had taught myself.
“Why me?” he whispered, taking my hand. “Why let me do that and not tell me it was your first time? Why let me doanyof it? Fuck, Sasha, I would have been more gentle. I would have made it more damn special.”
I shushed him, my fingers cupping his face, shaking my head. “No, no, Conall, I didn’twantall that. Yes, I wanted to wait until I was ready. It was why I rejected you that night. I scared myself, I didn’t want to give my virginity away to you when I thought you just wanted to hook up and part ways. Iwantedto wait until it meant something.”
Conall looked worried. “And did it?”
I smiled, leaning in to kiss him again. “What do you think? I don’t trust men often, but I’ve trusted this. I’ve let myself havethis.” As I talked, I spread my legs either side of his thigh, feeling the thick, hard muscle pressing delicious pressure against my entrance.
“I would have saved the collar until you were ready,” he muttered, thumbing over the bell, flicking it again. It had jingled with every thrust he’d made, deep in me, before.
“Iwasready,” I told him. “It took me a lot of thought to get to that point. Don’t make me doubt it now.” My voice was soft as Conall tugged me closer to him. He held me to his chest. “Thank you.”
“What for?”
“For making it everything I’d hoped for. For caring about me and wanting to keep me safe.”
He didn’t answer me but his arms wrapped tighter around my body and I fell into a peaceful lull of his fingertips trailing up and down my spine.
What would it be like to love again?DidI feel love already? Could I let myself feel it unapologetically, figure out how to love while maintaining my own morals? How did I stand alone but let Conall stand beside me? How did I ever ask him to take a step back when he had such a fierce need to protect me?
As he read my thoughts, Conall murmured, “Having someone close to you doesn’t mean you’re no longer independent, you know. The two can go hand-in-hand.”
