Page 56 of Wolf's Claimed Mate
“And how’s that?”
“Safe,” I confessed. “Wanted.”
“Is that so bad?”
I nodded. “It’s… It’s hard to think that the safety you let me feel could go away at any moment. You would say it won’t, or you’re there to stay, but I’ve heard all those things before, and it was a lie.”
“I’m sure Jackson meant it—”
I shook my head. “No, Conall, it was a literal lie,” I whispered, my eyes welling up. I wasn’t ready to talk about this, but I had to be. I inhaled, lay next to him, and wrapped the sheets tighter around myself. I had to be open and honest. I was vulnerable once, and it had hurt, but I couldn’t always keep looking backward.
“Sasha, you don’t have to—”
“Stop,” I whispered. “Please, just—let me. I need to. Stop trying to protect me from things I need to be able to handle.” My voice took on a hard edge at the scold, but he only nodded, taking it in stride. I didn’t want to be like everyone else who took advantage of his loyal nature to be helpful. He was hard-edged when he had to be, and people took advantage of his willingness, but with me, he could have that control. I wasn’t ready to physically give it up to him fully just yet, but I would get there.
I sighed shakily. “Wait, I need wine for this. I don’t suppose…”
“In the fridge door. Let me get it.”
“I can get it myself,” I laughed. “I’ve spent a long time being my own woman, Conall. You didn’t rock my worldthatmuch.”
Except when I stood up, my legs did actually tremble.
“Keep telling yourself that, kitty,” Conall said, slapping my ass lightly as I left the bed. I was aware I hadn’t pulled on any underwear, but I didn’t care to. I was comfortable, surprisingly.As I poured the wine, I whispered the reality of my night to myself.
“I lost my virginity to a wolf shifter.” It sounded amusing to my ears. “I’m not a virgin.”
When I turned back to Conall, looking at everything he was, a whole muscled, gorgeous man who waited for me in bed, I thought,oh, I’m definitely not a virgin. A silly, girlish thought. But he was beautiful, watching me expectantly as I brought over two glasses of wine, tucking the bottle into the crook of my arm.
Now that I’d broken that barrier, I didn’t think I’d ever get enough of Conall worshiping me the way he tended to do.
“You’re stunning,” he murmured, his eyes tracking the length of my body. “Come here.”
And as much as I wanted to, I knew I’d need space to get through this next part, so I climbed into bed, handed him the glass, and put the bottle on my bedside table. I sipped from my own glass deeply.
“Jackson was part of Kato’s pack, which you know,” I told him. He nodded. “A little like yourself, I chose his pack over my family. When the two lives couldn’t coincide, I left. My dad had learned about my relationship with Jackson because—well, you know what small-town gossip is like. He got cruel, called me some names—”
Sarcastically, Conall knocked his glass against mine in a mockingcheersgesture.
“He called me a wolf’s whore,” I told him, swallowing. Conall’s face went pale.
“Sasha, God, I—”
I pressed a finger to his lips. “It’s okay,” I said. “My dad was trying to embarrass me, make me crawl back to my family,see through an engagement they’d set up for me. He said I lay on my back and took it. And if that was how I wanted to live, then I couldn’t do it under his roof.
“My mom told me that if I leftto do that, then I wouldn’t ever bewelcome to return. I was only seventeen; I was in love, and Jackson had all these cool people he knew that he wanted to introduce me to.”
Conall stilled next to me. “Sasha, did he ever… hurt you? Physically? Did the pack?”
Tears stung my eyes as I shook my head. “It was the opposite,” I whispered. “We fooled around a little, but he never properly went near me. I always thought he was being respectful because he knew how awful my dad had been.”
“It wasn’t out of respect?” Conall asked, confused.
I shook my head. “When he broke up with me, I was devastated. He told me that he wanted to leave Kato’s pack, was done with their life and goals, and wanted out. He broke up with me because he knew it would be too hard to keep seeing me around them if we stayed together. I’d grown close to the pack; they were like a new family. One that stayed together no matter what.”
“Sasha, what happened?”
“The breakup was planned,” I told him, tears slipping down my cheeks. I’d never talked about my breakup, even with Thalia. Now, I was tearing open every wound and letting it bleed out. But Conall was a bandage, staunching the painful flow, holding me close to him. “It was intended to get me closer to the pack so I’d grow dependent on them, grow toneedthem.” I sniffed. “You asked me what was in the office and why I trashed it that day.” I met his eyes. “I found Jackson’s contract in the desk. He had gambling debts, and Kato paid them off. Hebecame indebted. In return, Jackson signed to say he’d be Kato’s new beta. But he also signed to say that he would find a female shifter, someone to bring in to…” The words got stuck, but I forced them out. “Someone to mate with.”
