Page 99 of Kiss-Fist
There’s someone waving in my periphery, and I turn to see Robbie’s other brother. His sign name comes quicker than his English name. Theo waits until he has my full attention.
‘What do you do for work?’
I swallow a mouthful of mashed potatoes before I remember with ASL, I can talk with my mouth full. ‘I work at a gym.’
Robbie clears his throat. ‘I think you mean youowna gym.’
I feel heat crawling up my neck. Robbie acts like it’s such a big deal, which, okay, maybe it’s a deal. A tiny one. But nothing about it is glamourous. It’s mostly shitloads of paperwork and making sure people don’t act like fools on machines and kill themselves.
But Dex and I did work very, very hard for it.
I shrug. ‘My brother and I opened it together. I’m more of the silent partner.’ I have to spell most of that, but everyone’snodding along and tapping their Y-shaped hand in the air, the left side of Quinn’s nose wiggling up in a silent understanding.
‘Amazing,’ Theo insists.
‘Zev works there,’ Robbie tells them all, and everyone’s face is full of understanding.
‘You hired him?’ Robbie’s mom asks me.
I nod. ‘He has a graduate degree’—it takes me forever to spell that one, and god, sometimes I really hate my brain—‘in physical education.’ And there’s another long one.
I’m pretty sure I messed a lot of that up because Alex clears his throat and says, “Go ahead and voice. I’ll interpret for you.”
My cheeks are flaming hot. I hate being behind. But I also hate knowing I’ll probably never catch up with how fast everyone fingerspells. “I’m dyslexic,” I tell them. “And I have ADHD, so my brain moves faster than the rest of me, and then it messes up the letter order, and…yeah. It seems to have translated into ASL too. Sorry.”
There’s a flurry of hands and Alex’s voice telling me not to be sorry, not to apologize for who I am and how my brain works. The support is overwhelming, and I hunker down in my seat. I’m an extrovert, and I don’t mind attention. But this is different.
This is pointed. This is a wave of positivity and support I’m not used to having. It’s supposed to feel good, but it actually kind of aches a little. What would it be like to grow up in a house like this? To be loved like this?
Robbie notices. He reaches under the table and lays a warm, heavy hand on my knee. ‘It’s okay,’ he signs close tohis chest. Then he bangs his fist hard on the table and signs at his family, ‘Finish. Move on.’
All eyes turn to Alex next, and apparently, there’s some gossip I’m missing, but they all quickly start to lay into him. They forget to interpret—even Robbie, who’s smiling as he gives Alex shit about whatever it is—some work thing and…underwear.
But I realize I don’t mind. It’s calming. It’s not nearly as quiet as I thought it might be. But it’s distracting and kind of soothing in a way. It lets me blend into the background.
Then Robbie shoots me a look. ‘Sorry. Alex?—’
‘No. It’s okay. I’m happy.’
He lifts a brow. ‘Happy?’
‘With you. I’m happy I’m here.’
There are several soft, almost involuntary-sounding ‘awws’ going around. Robbie and I both ignore them as he leans in slowly and kisses me. The noise gets louder, but in that moment, I don’t give a shit.
After dinner, I find myself outside with Quinn and Theo, lounging back in some Adirondack chairs. Robbie got sidetracked with his nieces, and I shooed him away. So now I’m in the backyard while his mom makes something in the kitchen—a word I pretended I knew but had no idea what she was trying to convey, so it seems this food item will be a surprise—and his dad is cleaning the grill.
I’m finishing off my second lemonade and honestlyfeeling a little buzzed. ‘You want another?’ Robbie’s mom appears and asks, and I nod, letting her make off with my cup.
‘You know there’s alcohol in there,’ Quinn says, and my eyes widen, not sure I understood.
‘Alcohol?’
‘Yeah.’
Theo giggles, and I find myself smiling. ‘I feel buzzed.’ I fingerspell that last word until Theo shows me the sign.
Alex appears, handing me my drink and taking a seat next to me, signing and speaking at the same time, “Mom told me there was no alcohol in this, but I think she took pity on you after the chaos at the table and snuck some into your last one.”
