Page 95 of Kiss-Fist
Good.
I jerk my head toward the stairs because although I know I’m going to have an audience for this, I want to make it harder for them to eavesdrop. I start walking, and I can feel the vibration of Rome’s steps as he follows.
We take the stairs down, and I lead the way to the spot under the willow that I like best. It’s cooler there, and the shade makes it easier for me to see him.
He’s not actually doing anything. He’s just…staring.
I crack first. ‘How dare you. Why did you think that was okay?’
He bites his lip, then lets it go. ‘Shit. I’m sorry. I’m…in love with you,’ he tries.
‘You’re a liar.’ I know he’s not. I can always tell when he’s full of shit. Thom might think he is, but it’s only because he doesn’t know Rome the way I do. The man has never been in love with anything except his reflection in the mirror.
His shoulders sag. ‘Fine. I’m not. But I care about you. A lot. I care enough to stop you from making a mistake.’
I swallow past a lump of rage lodged in the back of my throat. ‘Why do you think Thom is a mistake? He’s done everythingright. He’s learning. He will keep learning. He’s kind. He’s careful with me. He’s meeting me more than halfway. He never asks me to go voice-on.’ The more I sign, the more tense Rome becomes.
‘I thought you were like me. I thought you understood that hearing people have their place, but not with us.’
That was a lot further than I ever took my choice not to date hearing men. It was a preference—because while I’m basically obsessed with Thom, itisharder. It won’t always be that way, but I prefer not to struggle if I can help it.
But the look on Rome’s face…this goes deeper.
‘Would you go upstairs right now and say that to my nieces? Or to Alex?’ His jaw ticks at that one.
‘It’s not the same?—’
‘It’s exactly the same.’
Rome throws his hands in the air in frustration, then drops them. ‘He’s going to cheat on you. He’s going to do it right in front of your fucking face. He’s going to brag about all the other men he’s fucking to all his little hearie friends, and you’ll never know because you can’t read his lips. And you’ll end up looking like the fool because you’re left out.’
I take a step back. Rome and I have never gotten deep before. He might not hesitate to talk about random childhood stories or everything he did the week before, but he’s always been very tight-lipped about when he lived in DC.
I don’t ask who this man is who hurt him. I don’t need to know. But it’s clear the pain is profound because it looks fresh in his eyes. I hate myself for having sympathy, but I can’t help it.
Rome has known me more intimately than most people,and while I don’t want to have a soft spot for the man who made Thom feel the way he did, it’s there.
‘You don’t get to let your trauma with one asshole define or destroy my relationship with a man who isn’t like that,’ I tell him, my hands a little gentler than they might have been before.
He looks wary, like he wants to argue, but he just nods stiffly.
‘You didn’t give him a chance. It’s different with Alex because he would never hurt my sister, right? And the girls. They won’t be raised that way.’
He swallows heavily, then shrugs one shoulder.
‘We can’t be friends if you won’t give Thom a chance. I’m sorry.’
He looks a bit like he’s been slapped.
‘I trust him. I’m being careful, but Thom is not the man who hurt you, and you don’t get to treat him like shit because you think you’re protecting me. That is not your job. It’s not your place. When you hurt him, you hurt me.’
He bites his lip, then signs, ‘I went to his gym.’
I’m pretty sure for the first time ever, my face has zero expression when I sign, ‘I know.’
He fidgets. ‘He told you?’
‘You made a difference.’
