Page 52 of Kiss-Fist
“And you haven’t told Robbie yet?”
I run a hand across the back of my neck. “Not yet. It was kind of an impulse decision, and now I’m panicking.”
“Well, you need to talk to him and see what he thinks. To be honest, he’ll probably be more pissed off that you didn’t ask him first.”
“Yeah, I figured. I mean, it’s not set in stone or anything. I can tell Dex that I think it’s a bad idea.”
“Look, just talk to Robbie. I mean, I personally think it would be weird for him, even if he says yes. Can you imagine sitting in a booth with people who you can’t understand?”
I feel even worse now because I know what that’s like. It was the same feeling I got when Robbie and his friends came into the gym. “Yeah. It was a shitty idea, but hey,” I say, perking up. “I’m taking an ASL class at the community college. I’m gonna be signing like an expert before you know it.”
Leaf eyes me. “You do know it’s like any other language, right? It’s not as easy as it seems.”
My high spirits sink slightly. “Yeah, I know that. But…language kind of clicks for me, you know? I’m an audio and visual learner, and what I’ve learned so far just makes sense. I’m hoping I pick it up as fast as the other languages I’ve learned.”
Leaf eyes me and then smiles. “Yeah, I think you will. You already know more than I thought you would just from the app. And honestly, Robbie is a good motivator. I think you’ll be chatting fluidly before you know it.”
“Yeah. Poly-lingual, here I come.”
He laughs and elbows me, then picks up the pace as he heads deeper into his dying vegetable fields.
We walk in silence for a few minutes, just looking at the scenery, Leaf huffing and puffing away next to me, when I realize I feel safe with him. I’m not usually vulnerable with people, but I can’t help myself when I say, “You know, I’ve never really been good at school. Like writing and reading is hard. I have severe ADHD and dyslexia, and I never got good grades. Do you think Robbie will care that I’m not as smart as he is?”
Leaf frowns. “First of all, having a disability doesn’t make you not smart. You’re really intelligent, Thom, even if you learn differently than other people. And I don’t know Robbie, but he would be a pretty shitty person if he held that against you.” He stops abruptly and holds up a finger. “Can you hang on for a second. I just need to—” He takes a breath, then tips his head back, his hands on his hips.
There’s a moment of total silence, and then he lets out a loud scream to the heavens, and I stand there, shocked.
When it finally ends, he looks at me sheepishly. “Sorry. God. I needed to do that.”
I eye him carefully. “Feel better now.”
He laughs. “Actually, I do.”
“Right, well, I guess you should do that more often, then. You know, just maybe tell your neighbors so they don’t think you’re being murdered or anything.”
“Good idea,” he says, and then his shoulders sag. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make that all about me. I think I’ve made a huge mistake with this farm. I should have never quit my job to take up the mess my aunt left me.”
“Hey, look, I don’t think you made a mistake. It seems kind of obvious you needed a change of pace, and this seems like it could be something good if you give it a little more time.” Leaf still hasn’t told me exactly what prompted him to quit his job, but it’s clear it’s still weighing on him.
He huffs out a breath. “Fuck. I hope so.”
“I’m just glad you’re not thinking about buying TNT anymore.”
His eyes meet mine, and his lips quirk up in an evil smile. “Who said I wasn’t?”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
THOM
Me: Whn can I see u agn?
I fiddlewith my phone before shoving it into my pocket. I have fifteen minutes before I have to leave for campus, otherwise I’ll be late for my ASL class, and the teacher always makes you explain why you’re late when you arrive. And I had to do that once and got so nervous I almost threw up.
He explained that it was a cultural thing. That Deaf people like information. I get it, but I don’t wanna do that again. I’ve only been in the class for two weeks, and I don’t want to be the “bad” student all over again.
The gym is crowded today, and I don’t expect to see Robbie because he has a job and a life outside of me, but damn, I want to kiss him again. I haven’t seen him since I left his apartment a couple of weeks ago. We just got too busy.
And maybe I’m avoiding him a little. I still haven’t told Dex the double date is a bad idea and still haven’t mentionedit to Robbie. I just need to remember to not be busy doing other things to him when I finally get the time.
