Page 19 of Wine & Whiskey: Everything for You
The air on the deck is so thick it hurts to breathe. She stands up and walks toward the edge, staring at the endless ebb and flow of blue green water barely visible in the fading light. Inhaling deeply, she tries to push the oxygen into her compressed chest before explaining to Dr. Patterson how some kind of error must have occurred. Make her understand how wrong she is. “No, that can’t be right. Everything was okay on Saturday. You said everything was good.”
“At that point, it was. But this second test shows your pregnancy isn’t going to progress.”
Her fingers grip the railing, trying to steady herself, as Nick’s body curls against her back, his head resting on her shoulder. The pulse in her ears is deafening even against the pounding surf. She can fix this. She can make this all okay. “What do I have to do? I can take medicine, stay in bed, come to the hospital. Please, tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. I’ll do anything.”
“I’m sorry, but there’s nothing you can do. It just wasn’t meant to be. Within the next few days, you’ll begin bleeding and cramping similar to a very heavy period.” Dr. Patterson’s voice is full of pity, yet straight forward, as if reciting a speech. “You can use a heating pad or warm shower as well as Tylenol to ease your discomfort if you need it. If you have any questions or concerns, please don’t hesitate to call me. Otherwise, there’s no need to come in, as there’s nothing that can be done except let nature take its course.”
But this baby meant everything to her. More than she ever wanted anything. And now, it’s gone. All she can manage is a whisper, “Are you sure there’s nothing I can do?”
“I’m sorry, Shae. I know how painful this must be. But give it two or three months, and you and Evan can start trying again. He told me all about your house and wedding plans. He loves you so much. You’ll get through this, and then you can have the family you both want. Okay?”
Evan.
Dr. Patterson has no idea the bomb she lights with her words. The heartbreak she’ll have to mend for Nick. She can barely push out her response. “Thank you.”
“I’m sorry, sweetness.”
Her shoulders droop at Nick’s soft voice against her neck. She can’t ease his pain. Not this time. Not anymore.
The screen blackens before a selfie of her and Carrie laughing pops up. The night after they ran their first half-marathon and Carrie talked her into easing their soreness with margaritas. Carrie’s always there for her. Always been there when she needed her. The only one who understands without needing anything in return. Who doesn’t expect her to be perfect. Yes, that’s who can help her.
“It’s okay. I’m fine.” She turns around, her heaving chest giving away her devastation. But she ignores it. Just push through. Just get to the garage. She waves him away as he steps toward her. The burning in her throat steals her breath, and she can only whisper, “But I need to go. I’ll come back, I swear. I just have to go.”
“Shae, wait. What are you doing?”
The tears won’t stop if she talks to him. She shakes her head and runs down the deck. With trembling hands, she shoves open the door, ignoring him calling behind her through the throbbing in her head. Past the blankets piled on the sofa in the living room and Marta staring wide eyed at her as she races through the kitchen. Just make it through one more door, and she won’t have to be strong anymore.
The sob finally breaks free at the defeat of her plan. All her rushing worthless when only the Jeep sits in the garage. She can’t escape.
Nick grips her shoulders and holds her against him. “Don’t do this.” His voice cracks in her ear. “Don’t leave.”
“Where’s my car?” She shoves his arms away and spins around. Her only goal to break free from the pressure threatening to explode inside her. “Please just tell me what you did with my car.”
He swallows hard, his face pale, eyes blazing with worry. “It was damaged from Carter. I was getting you a new one. It was going to be a surprise.”
The grip around her neck tightens, and she bends over, trying to suck in air. Her hands grasp her knees as the floor spins toward her. He’s loving and protective and generous, but too much. More than she can take. More than she can help. She doesn’t have the strength to hold together their crumbling world all by herself any more.
