Page 62 of Wine & Whiskey
She wraps her arm around Carrie’s waist and leans her head on her friend’s shoulder. “Me too.”
“Why do you love Nick?”
The goofy smile returns even in her anguish. She thought she loved Evan, but now with Nick, she really knows what it means. “Because he has this enormous capacity to love. He’s generous and protective. Not just with me, but everyone around him. Marta, Max, you. Even as hurt as he is by Jason and Nathan, I know he would do anything for them.”
A lump builds in her throat at the torment he inflicts on himself, the guilt oppressing him. “But, for some reason he doesn’t think he deserves love back. He acts shocked I’m with him, like he’s unlovable or undeserving. It breaks my heart he gives so much and thinks he’s not worthy of anything in return.”
“Yeah, I get that about him. His childhood must have been pretty fucked up.”
“It was.” She shakes her head, trying to keep from breaking down at the stories of the suffering he endured. “He told me I bring him the only happiness he’s ever known. Can you imagine being thirty years old and never experiencing real happiness?”
Carrie sniffs and wipes her nose with the back of her hand. “Now you’re making me teary-eyed.”
Besides Carrie, Nick’s the only one who doesn’t try to control her, doesn’t try to sway her thoughts or make up her mind for her. The first person to ever trust what she thinks. He lets her stand up for herself, and she’s not going to disappoint him. “I can’t leave him.” Lifting her head, she searches Carrie’s face, fearful of her reaction, yet confident in her decision. She loves him, and he needs her, almost as much as she needs him.
“Then don’t. I’ll talk to Nathan and Jason. They’ll just have to get over it.”
The only constant in her life, Carrie supports her even when the only reward for her loyalty is helping to pick up the pieces. “I love you.”
“I love you too, even if you’re getting more sex than me.”
She gives her friend one last hug before walking upstairs, her steps quickening as she gets closer to the bedroom door, almost running with the desire to confirm her commitment to him. “I’m sorry it’s so late, I…”
His body curls over the pillow, his hand resting on her pink robe. A half-empty bottle of whiskey and used glass sit on the nightstand. Papers peek out of a manila folder overturned on the floor, her name scrawled on the index tab.
She scoops up the file, tucking the sheets back inside. Her cheeks flame with guilt for reading his private documents. But, the need to know what’s written about her is too great.
Nick,
Here is a summary of the security plan we discussed as well as the update to your will. With your approval, I will finalize everything and file the revised documents.
Luther
Upon Mr. DeMarco’s death, responsibility for Ms. Armstrong’s security plan shifts to Maxwell Masterson. If his death precedes or coincides with Mr. DeMarco’s, responsibility transfers to Carter James. In the event all three men are deceased, a trust will be created for the sole purpose of engaging and retaining Walker Associates as the primary security management vendor for Ms. Armstrong’s personal safety in addition to any current security in place as required for her professional career.
Furthermore, Mr. DeMarco’s will shall be updated to reflect upon his death the immediate transfer of five hundred million dollars to the newly created accounts established in Ms. Armstrong’s name. She is the sole owner of the accounts and controls any and all disbursements. All percentage allocations to his other beneficiaries remain unchanged.
Tears blur the remaining words. He prepares for his death, protecting her even after he’s gone. Every time she thinks the challenge is too enormous to overcome, his immense love draws her back in.
After laying the folder face down on the night stand, she flips off the light and crawls into bed next to him.
“Shae?” He reaches for her, his voice thick with sleep and whiskey.
“Shhh. Everything’s okay. I’m here.” She wraps her arm around his waist, snuggling into his chest. It’s her turn to hold him tight and make him feel safe and loved.
* * * *
Her fingertips grazethe gray suede headboard as she stretches in the soft light. The comforter and pillows bunch against her back, swaddling her like a cocoon. Even when Nick’s gone, he takes care of her. She glances at the nightstand. Both he and the file have disappeared.
She climbs out of bed with a hint of butterflies fluttering in her stomach. He said this is her home now, but it feels awkward, too soon to be comfortable without him. Stalling for no real reason, she washes her face, brushes her teeth, and combs her hair before wrapping her robe around herself and heading downstairs.
Silence fills the house, the door to Nick’s office closed, the kitchen empty. Traces of purple tint the sky as she pushes open the patio door and walks through the breezeway to the guest house.
Nathan answers her knock, his eyes heavy with sleep, tufts of dirty-blond hair sticking up like straw. “Good morning, Shae.”
“I’m sorry if I woke you guys.”
He shakes his head before dropping back onto the bed where Carrie cuddles under the covers. She crawls up behind him, encircling his chest, resting her chin on his shoulder. “No, we were awake. Just talking, unlike some other people I know who can’t keep their hands off each other.”
