Page 50 of Wine & Whiskey
“Why not? If you quit, Juan won’t come after you anymore.”
“It’s not like I can give two weeks’ notice and leave. This family business goes back to my grandfather.”
She scoots next to him, wrapping her arms around his, entwining their fingers. The connection between them shaky but still unbroken. He has to know she’ll give anything to be together, find any way to make it work. “Is it the money? I can take care of us. I don’t have as much as you, but it’s more than enough.”
His humorless laugh is a sharp contrast to his head tilting against hers, his racing pulse hot against her skin. “It’s not the money.”
“Then what?”
“Please don’t ask me questions I can’t answer.”
Dropping his hands, she leans back on the cushion. He’s so open with his heart, but closed with everything else. “I don’t understand. You give me your love so willingly, but you don’t trust me.”
“It doesn’t have anything to do with trust. I’m trying to protect you.”
“You can protect me by getting out of it. Then the threats will be over.”
He gives her a side glance before shaking his head. “You don’t understand. I can’t.”
Her pulse pounds in her ears. Giving up on him will destroy her, but staying may be worse. “I can’t be with you unless you’re honest with me.”
He walks to the edge of the deck, his fingers gripping the railing, his head drooping forward. Crashing waves and squawking seagulls carry across the breeze, yet he remains silent. The ache in her chest grows stronger as she covers her mouth with trembling hands, forcing herself not to rescind her ultimatum, not to take back the words driving his pain. They have to do this to move forward. She has to know the truth.
“I know too much.” Turning back to face her, his gaze locks with hers, bitterness darkening his face, his voice tinged with defeat. “If I try to walk away, I’ll be killed.”
Her stomach plunges at his confession. So naïve, she thought she had the solution, figured out the answer, yet the reality is too simple and terrifying to overcome. He can never escape from this world of crime and violence. A death sentence whether he stays or goes. This is his life.
The door opens, and Marta shakes her dishtowel at them. “Breakfast ready. Come eat while hot and very good.”
Nick nods at his housekeeper, but his eyes never leave hers. Maybe as fearful as she is to turn away, to break the bond between them, uncertain if it could be restored. Once Marta goes back inside, he steps forward and pulls her to him. “You deserve better than me, more than this. I couldn’t let you go, and now you’re suffering because of my selfishness. You don’t belong in my world.”
Goosebumps race over her skin as she trembles, fear coursing through her body at the realization this will never end. “What does this mean for us?”
“Nothing’s changed. I love you and want to be with you.” He buries his head in her neck, his fingers entangling in her hair, holding her tightly against him. “I can’t lose you. Please tell me you’ll stay.”
That’s all she wants. To be with him. But not in this life. Not with this fear. She doesn’t know what to say or do or think, paralyzed by the deluge of emotions drowning her. Her body is rigid and gasping for breath, unable to return his embrace, incapable of grasping the dwindling hope that everything he wants to give her she can accept.
His arms fall away, releasing the hold he has over her body and her heart, his unshakable confidence finally shattering under her hesitation. “I’m sorry I can’t give you what you need.”
A cruel reminder of his constant tenderness even amidst his pain. Tears roll down her cheeks, stinging her skin, dripping off her chin. “You do. You’re everything I’ve ever—”
“Shhhh. No more.” His fingertips follow the wet trails before brushing across her lips, the saltiness harsh against her tongue. Sobs rock her body at the hollowness of his voice, the deadness in his eyes. “We’ll find you a secure place to stay, and I’ll make sure you’re always taken care of.”
“What about you?”
Spreading his arms, he looks around the deck, as if confined by prison bars rather than the open sky and rolling waves. “I’ll always be here.” Lowering his head, he lets out a deep breath. “I’ll just never understand why you’d give me your money, but you won’t give me your heart.”
The thickness in her throat strangles her voice, and she can only whisper, “You already have my heart. It’s just that it’s broken.”
