Page 23 of Under the Influence
“Yes.”
No hesitation in his expression or his answer. I shake my aching head. “I can’t keep doing this. I have to getready.”
Insistent fingers curl around my arm. Yanking me back to him. “I told you you’re not going to see thatbastard.”
My mind is spinning from this merry go round. Twirling from one crazy emotion to the next. I refuse to let him control me. Maybe he can get away with dominating me in bed, but definitely not in the rest of my life. Jerking my arm, I can’t twist out of his possessive grasp. “I’m not. I have to go towork.”
“You work onweekends?”
Suspicion that he isn't allowed to insinuate hardens his question. “Not that I owe you an explanation, but I volunteered to help with the children's Christmas party at my old job. I'm not flaking on them. Unlike some people, I keep mycommitments.”
Instead of reacting to my sass, he nods. Well aware how much I loved working with the kids at the small neighborhood library before I accepted the position at theuniversity.
“Fine.” Warm lips brush my cheek before he releases me. “I’ll go withyou.”
Well, him being a controlling tyrant obviously hasn't changed. “I don’t need your permission or anescort.”
Damn,this woman fucking slays me. I adore her and her resilient defiance. So much more than her tears. My gut drops for what feels like the millionth time this morning. Never one for hysterics, I know how much she's struggling for her to actually cry. Let alone in front ofme.
Which I feel like fucking bawling myself when I realize what she endured. Without me. But I'll never let her see. Or know. I have to be strong. Be her rock when she feels weak. Solid as concrete when she doubts me or my commitment. I'll never falter. “Maybe not, but you’re getting them. Now eat yourbreakfast.”
Huffing out a huge sigh, she shakes her head. Luckily she doesn’t argue. Just sways her gorgeous hips back to the table and drops her sweet ass in herchair.
Fork tines jab toward me once I sit across from her again, that I’m sure she probably wishes were more menacing. “I'm only doing this because I’m hungry and in ahurry.”
She rolls her eyes at my smirk. She can pretend all she wants that I’m not in control. But we both know thetruth.
I get the silent treatment while we eat. Never utters a single comment between sips of juice and bites of bacon. Not great but better than arguing I guess. Gives her time for all this thinking she claims she needs to do. Which is pointless since everything is settled between us. But I guess she wants to believe she actually has a choice in the matter or some fucked up mistaken idea likethat.
For all her deep concern about not wasting food, she doesn't hesitate to dump her untouched omelet in the garbage on top of the fucked up toast she already frowned over. I hold back my chuckle lest I ignite her wrath again. The message conveyed and received that he gets nothing else from her. Ever. Not even a god damn fuckingsnack.
Sliding the plate out of her hand, I nod toward the bedroom. "Go ahead and get ready. I'll cleanup."
Hesitation purses her delicious lips together. My offer feels like a bittersweet reminder of old times. Which I know she misses as much as me. Although my tongue lapping her sweet pussy is probably the only way I'd get her to admit it. Fuck, that thought makes my greedy cock stir again. I spin around and stride toward the dishwasher. Preventing any argument about my definitive tone or my obvious desire for her. Surprised this antique still runs, I load the trays and pour in detergent. The last cycle before she moves in withme.
Pipes above me knock from the hot water racing through them. More torture to my dick thinking about her in the tub. Wet. Naked. Alone. But, I've got to be smart about this. I need to slow my ass down and focus on getting her to love me as much as she loves mycock.
While she dresses, I call my guys. Making arrangements for later. Keeping myself occupied before I hop into the bath myself. Last time I have to suffer with her shitty low water pressure and cramped space. My huge shower holds both of us easily, which isn't always necessary when I have her trapped against the tile, fucking her beautifulbody.
I yank the lever to cold, welcoming the icy torrent to cool my arousal and speed up my pace. I can't trust her not to take off on me. Although I can’t lie and say I wouldn’t enjoy the punishment I’d dole out if shedoes.
Instead, after I grab my jeans and polo from her closet and yank on my clothes, I find her in the living room. Sitting on the edge of the sofa. Staring down at the leather-bound book in her small hands. A French translated copy of theIliadthat I gave her. For no reason at all except I love her and the story behind the name her parents chose forher.
"When you surprised me with this, I knew you were the one. Or at least I thought you were." She tucks a damp strand of twirly hair behind her ear. "I guess I waswrong."
Her soft admission stings worse than Ricky's slice to my face so many years ago. The anger has dissipated. Replaced by apathy that's even more difficult to fight. Or win. "Why didn't you tell me that when I gave it toyou?"
"Because girls are taught to play hard to get." A sad smile that holds no humor lifts her cheeks. "I was afraid I'd scare you off. Guess that silly advicefailed."
The irony not lost on me when I kneel down in front of her. “You weren't wrong. Otherwise, I wouldn't have bought it. Or havethis."
Her gaze follows my hand as I dig in my pocket. Pulling out my keys from between the coins and my blade. Stupid to carry around a two million dollar diamond, but I needed a reminder of what I lost and why I couldn't keepher.
I slip the jewelry onto the tip of my pinky and hold the ring out to her. This isn't a proposal. Not yet. She deserves so much more than us bickering, exhausted, and holed up in this shittyapartment.
A silky finger brushes mine when she strokes over the stone. "It'sgorgeous."
"I was going to propose that night. Before everything went tohell."
