Page 65 of Falling Inn Love
The look Beth gives me tears me to shreds. “I want to love you like you love me, but I don’t know if I can. You deserve better than I can give you.”
“Just go,” I say quietly, feeling defeated.
TWENTY-FIVE
BETH
What happened in Freedom Valley?
* * *
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
I nod, unable to form words right now. I lean my face against the cold car window and cry as Logan pulls away. I cry until I don’t think I have anything left in me.
“I think you’re making a mistake,” he says as he turns off onto the highway. “I think he really loves you, Beth. All these people seem to love you.”
“I don’t deserve them.”
“I think you can’t let yourself be fully loved by anyone else until you first love yourself.”
He’s probably right, but right now, I’m so tired. I just need to get away. It’s what I do; I run. It probably doesn’t make sense to anyone—even I don’t understand it—but it’s how I have coped.
* * *
Logan’s house in Boston is a construction zone and now I remember why he was staying at The Golden Gable. I ruined that for him, too. Great.
“I’m sorry. I forgot about your floors. I can find a hotel.”
“The floors are done upstairs. Come on.”
I set my stuff up in his guest room and call Cara. “Where are you?” she asks.
“At Logan’s. I think I destroyed everything, Cara. I told Evan everything.”
“Wait… Everything?”
“Yeah,” I said quietly. “Everything.”
“That’s huge, Beth. That’s progress. But, what happened? Why are you in Boston and not with Evan?”
“I can’t do it, Cara. I can’t be with him.”
“Oh, Beth. Come home to Austin. Let me book you a flight.”
I put my face in my hands as panic fills my chest.
“It’ll be fine. Come here and let us take care of you.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll be there for you.”’
“You always are, thank you.”
* * *
My plane touches down in Austin a day later. I feel like I’m torn between two worlds, like my family is here in Austin with John and Emmie, but my heart is in Freedom Valley with people are alive and breathing and still able to love me back. I don’t know how to stop feeling like I’m betraying my family if I move on.
