Page 33 of Falling Inn Love
“I can’t risk losing any more people I love. I lost my mom when I was six, and I spent the rest of my childhood in and out of foster homes that were not families you’d want to be a part of. I wanted a family so bad. I finally had that—”
“You had a family,” he hedges tentatively.
I swallow, choking back tears, and say, “I lost John, just like I lost my mom, and…” I take a deep breath, I can’t tell him any more. This is what I meant by not being able to share this pain. It’s too much. “When I let my guard down, I lose everything. It’s better that I keep moving and not get attached to anyone.”
“Beth.” Through my tears, I can see him looking at me intensely.“Thank you for telling me. I want to know more about him. I want to know the good, the bad, and the ugly. I want to share this with you. You had a life with him before me. And if we do this, you and me? We will talk about him. We will always keep his memory alive and do our best to honor him. He deserves that and you deserve that.”
“Being with you feels so good, but also like I’m doing something wrong. When I married him, I meant forever.”
“I respect that, but I’m sure he’d want you to be happy. You deserve to live your life.”
“That’s what your mom said, too.”
He laughs a little. “Well, she’s a wise lady.”
I shake my head while I try to squeeze back the hot tears that inevitably fall.
He holds my face in his hands and gently wipes my tears. He pulls me close and kisses me. I melt into him and time seems to stop. He kisses me so gently yet intensely, and I can’t help but forget where we are. I bite his lower lip, begging for more, and he breaks away, moving the kiss to my cheek, my ear, down my neck. It’s the kind of kiss that makes me want to forget my fears and my doubts and justtry. He finds my lips again, and we kiss until somehow I don’t feel as sad anymore.
“How did you do that?”
“Do what?”
“Make me stop feeling sad.”
“I think this just feels right. And it could be fun to see where this goes.”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?” he asks, leaning into me.
“Maybe. That’s all I can give you. I can’t promise more.”
“I’ll take what I can get,” he says and kisses me again with such intensity I no longer have any idea about what I couldn’t promise. I’m so wrapped up in the moment, so wrapped up in him, I can’t even think.
* * *
Later that afternoon, I text Cara.
Beth: Hey, are you busy?
I see the three dots hover and finally, her response comes through.
Cara: No, call me.
She picks up on the first ring.“Hey, how are you? How’s… Wait, where are you again?”
“Freedom Valley, New Hampshire. It’s so beautiful here. I love it.”
“Yes, Logan told me about that charming inn where you’re staying. You sound really good. Happy.”
“I am happy. But confused. I need some advice.”
“What’s going on?”
I take a deep breath and let it out before I begin. “There’s this guy… He’s the innkeeper.”
“The innkeeper? I gotta hear this…”
