Page 85 of Out of Bounds
“Okay.” The way her voice fell an octave, I knew she wanted to say something.
“Sai?”
“Yeah.”
“We good?”
“Yeah, Kreed.”
“Aight. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“See you in the morning.”
“I love you” was on the tip of my tongue, but I refrained. Masai was coming around, but that shit with Ashton would probably always be a sensitive subject for her. Ending the call, I dropped my head back and groaned.
“Fuck that was ’bout?” Deuce’s nosy ass asked.
“Nothing. I be tryna get in front of shit to keep Sai from feeling slighted. We in a good place right now, and I ain’t tryna go backward.”
“You do know there will never be a time when sis ain’t gon’ feel slighted. Like, that shit gon’ forever be in the back of her mind.”
“I’m already knowing.” Folding my arms across my chest, I sat back. “On everything… if I could go back to that night, Deuce, I would’ve stayed my stupid ass at the crib. That night ruined my fucking life.”
“And you say you don’t remember how it happened?”
“On my mama, I’on remember shit,” I reiterated. “And that ain’t me just saying the shit ’cause I’m not trying to own up to my bullshit. On my fucking kids, bruh, I remember going to the bathroom, and the next second, I’m fucking some random hoe.I done tried to pray my fucking memory back, but the shit ain’t coming to me at all.”
“I’on know, bih. You think she slipped some shit in ya drink or something?” he quizzed.
“I’on even remember seeing her ass in there. That’s just how foggy that fucking night is.”
“Hoes will do anything these days. Her ass might’ve gave you something. I ain’t never known you to be fucked up to the point where you can’t remember what the fuck you doing.”
“Me either. The shit ain’t never made sense. But it happened. KJ proof of that. Lil’ nigga mine; ain’t no way to deny it.”
“That shit crazy, bruh.” Deuce snorted.
“You telling me.” I sighed. “I want my wife back. My shit been fucked up since we signed them divorce papers. I’m hauling my kids back and forth, having to force myself in Masai mix just so I can be in her presence. Dog… the other night, Sophie called me at like one in the morning. I’on even think Sai knows her ass had slipped downstairs to grab her iPad. But she called me ’cause she had a bad dream and couldn’t go back to sleep.
“In the past, I would get up out of bed and go sleep with her, but me being out of the house, I had to improvise. My baby had to prop her iPad up on her dresser with me still on it so she could get some rest. It’s shit like that I be missing. That don’t even sit right with me ’cause I’m supposed to be there.”
“You suggested therapy?”
I waved him off. “Sai ain’t tryna do allat.”
“Have you asked?”
“Nawl.., I haven’t.”
“Then maybe you should suggest it. It won’t hurt.”
“I’ll put it on her radar; see how she’s feeling ’bout it. With her calling herself having a lil’ boyfriend and shit, I’on think she gone go.”
“Still don’t hurt to ask. If you really serious ’bout wanting her back, you gotta start somewhere. And popping up at the crib ain’t the way to go.”
“Yo’...” I held my fist to my mouth and laughed. “Masai and Koya talk too fucking much.”
“You know she be hitting Koya up like,‘Girl, tell me why Kreed ass is over here again,’” he mocked, sounding like Masai. “They be talking ’bout yo’ ass all in they lil’ group chat.”
