Page 128 of Cruelest Contract
Once again he scrutinizes me for so long I feel like his fingers are thumbing through the folds of my brain. “You were so sure you wouldn’t get distracted by your wife. Now you’re failing at your own goal.”
Every muscle in my body stiffens and I fail to contain my anger. “Caring about my wife isn’t a distraction. Don’t even try to tell me you can’t relate.”
A switch flips and his face transforms into a thundercloud of fury. “Watch it, Julian. I’m warning you. Don’t cross that line.”
“Then you leave my wife out of this. Or I’ll have to point out that you must have been plentydistractedby your own wife back in the day, seeing as how you had four kids before your fifth anniversary.”
I don’t even see the hit coming. His fist cracks against my jaw, his ring scraping flesh. The blow is ruthless but I remain standing.
I’m tempted to hit him back. I’m younger and I’m stronger. He’s no match for me, not anymore. I could knock him into the dirt with ease.
We’re being watched. A couple of the cowboys have paused outside the barn and ogle the scene. Two of Sonny’s men idle near the house and gape in shock.
I’ve always been my father’s favorite son. Disliking the fact doesn’t make it disappear. As the firstborn, my natural place has always been at his side. I don’t even remember accepting the role of his successor. No matter how far back into my memory I reach, it’s always been assumed.
Now I have the power to humiliate him, to shatter the framework of our family. A trace of uneasiness skates over his face as I slowly straighten my back. The taste of blood is in my mouth.
“Want another shot, Dad? Take it.” Moderating my tone to a level of dangerous calm is an acquired skill. It’s one I learned from him.
He blinks and falters but catches himself before he takes a step backward. “The four of you are strong men. I made you that way.”
“You did.” I spit a glob of blood on the ground. “You also made us killers.”
With a snort, he shakes his head in disgust. “This moral crisis is a little overdue, isn’t it, Julian?”
“No crisis. We are what we are now and I’m not sorry. Just don’t pretend like there was ever a choice.”
He’s regained his self-control and matches my tone. “Now you’re a man. Free to make your own choice. First, tell me which of your brothers is capable of stepping into your shoes.”
He knows the answer as well as I do.
Tye is too easily distracted. Getty is too quick to lash out. Fort is too disinterested.
My father nods when he sees I’ve arrived at the obvious conclusion. “You have no need to worry about Cecilia when you’re away. She’s well taken care of. Clear your conscience, son.”
Somehow this stokes my anger more than anything else he’s said. “Cecilia is MY wife. She’s not some fucking family project.”
He lets the words hang there for a moment and takes a deliberate step forward. We’re exactly the same height. Looking into my father’s eyes is sometimes too close to gazing into a mirror. What’s more, he knows it.
“You think I can’t see through you but I do,” he says. “We’re the most alike, you and me. You thought by marrying that girl you were playing it smart and you’d never get too attached. That way you’d never suffer the kind of agony that shreds my soul when the sun dares to rise in a world your mother doesn’t get to see anymore. Isn’t that right, Julian?”
His words are viciously accurate. But acknowledging them out loud with my pregnant wife sleeping upstairs is unthinkable.
It doesn’t matter. My father understands the impact anyway.
“If you don’t want to be like me,” he says, “thendon’tfucking be like me.”
The second the last syllable drops, he turns and stalks back to the house.
My jaw is starting to swell. There will be no way to hide the evidence from Cecilia. But when I glance up at our bedroom window, I realize I won’t need to hide anything.
She’s watching, seated at the desk I moved to the window earlier. The window is double paned glass and it’s closed. It’s not possible that she heard the ugly argument between me and my father.
But Cecilia is highly intelligent and perceptive. These are just some of the reasons why I admire her so much.
And based on the look on her face, she saw more than enough to draw her own conclusions.
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