Page 129 of Cruelest Contract
CECILIA
Ever since she arrived at the ranch yesterday, there’s no stopping Alice from petting my belly like it’s the head of a golden retriever.
“I felt another kick,” she insists with a squeal.
“That was my digestive tract,” I inform her. “Lunch is going down a little rough.”
She throws me a pouty look and then speaks directly to my stomach. “Auntie Alice hears you. And I love you so much already.”
After giving my swollen middle another gentle pat, she rolls away and sits up in the grass with thoughtful eyes pointed at the distant mountains. “Why didn’t I bring my sketchbook? These October colors are unreal. I’m going to cry when it’s time to return to the desert.”
I rub a hand over my belly, which now stretches the fabric of my dress. My fault. I’ve put off buying maternity clothes and now it’s practically a crisis. “Then the only solution is for you to stay forever.”
She tosses her light curls and leans back on her palms. “Unfortunately, I promised my students I wouldn’t doanything outrageous over fall break, like run off and join the circus. Getting seduced by Wyoming probably falls under the outrageous category.”
“How about getting seduced by a pro hockey player?” Tye appears out of nowhere and flops down in the grass next to her. “It would give you bragging rights in the teacher’s lounge for a decade.”
Alice looks him over. “You retired from hockey, didn’t you?”
He rolls his head to the side and gives her an adorable grin. “My career was cut short. I’m still sad. If only some pretty girl would sit on my face and console me.”
“Don’t give up,” Alice says. “Eventually you’ll find one who is bored and desperate enough to oblige.”
“Alice.” He drapes a muscled arm over his face with a husky laugh. His cowboy hat has already fallen off. “Why don’t you love me, Alice?”
She ignores him and nudges my shoulder. “Let’s talk about names. You haven’t even dropped a hint and now you need to pick two of them. I’m sure you have a list.”
For once, I really don’t have a list. Every time I start one it feels wrong because I shouldn’t be making the list alone. “Not yet. I’m struggling with creative block.”
“Doesn’t Julian have any suggestions?” Alice asks the question carefully and examines my face.
Nearby, Tye lifts his arm and peers at me.
“A few,” I reply airily, which isn’t true. Julian hasn’t offered a single baby name idea. I smooth the fabric of my dress over my bad knee.
My best friend’s smile contains some pity. “He’s probably still in shock that there are two baking in that oven instead of one.”
“There’s plenty of shock to go around,” I say with forced cheer.
Not a lie. I was completely stunned when last week’s ultrasound showed that Twin B had been hiding behind Twin A.
Julian wasn’t even there to hear this news. Instead, I was chauffeured to my appointment in Laramie by Tye and Getty with an entourage of Sonny’s men following in a separate vehicle. At my request, Mel came along too. She stayed in the room with me and held my hand while the doctor explained the increased risks of a twin pregnancy. The doctor assured me that I’m in good health but I will need to be monitored more closely. The babies, both boys, will almost certainly arrive before my due date in March.
I wonder if Julian will be here for the birth. Maybe. Maybe not.
But I force down the tide of apprehension in case it shows up on my face. Breathe in. Breathe out.I can do this.
Of course Julian was happy about the twins when I told him over the phone. He wanted to know every detail and doubled down on his efforts to ensure that I’d want for nothing. The following day, a gigantic bouquet of pink roses was delivered to me. There were so many that I divided them into three vases. The card was a small white square and the message was curt.
For my beautiful wife. Regards, Julian.
He didn’t sign ‘With Love’. He never does. He never uses the word ‘Love’ at all. This bothers me too much.
With no warning, a bubbly sensation rolls through my abdomen. The feeling is not unpleasant. Quite the opposite. It won’t be long before I feel the thumps of little limbs on the outside. An abrupt surge of protectiveness is both aggressive and bittersweet.
The desperate yearning for my mother never disappears. At times over the years it recedes to the background but these days I feel the loss more acutely than ever. She had a difficult pregnancy with me and Gabe. I’d love to know more but there’sno one to ask. Matthias would be the only one old enough to remember. I have his number now and a few times I’ve been tempted to call him. Then I flash back to the cold glare of the man who stormed into my wedding. I’m not sure how to have a conversation with that man.
I haven’t called Matthias. I doubt that I will.
