Page 55 of Magic Hunted
“I don’t know what you mean.” There was only one kind of strength I knew, and that was the day-to-day struggle of living under the rule of a psychopath. That strength didn’t allow sleep because you had to stay alert no matter what.
“You’ve shown yourself to us, Haera. We’ve scraped you raw and you’re still showing us how special you are,” Dias said.
I huffed a strangled laugh. “I’m far from special.”
I’d given up the fantasy of a pack coming to claim me, to take me away from the pain of life, years ago. I couldn’t even remember who that girl was anymore and had left her way behind as soon as reality showed her hand in a river of blood.
“You’re extremely special. You’ve functioned under so much pressure, it’s a wonder you haven’t lost yourself completely. I’ve seen males come back from the dungeons changed and unable to show an ounce of emotion. Yet you’ve been brave enough to show us how deeply you feel, little mate. For that, we’ll be forever thankful,” Ashir said.
I couldn’t help my snort. “I can’t see how you can be thankful for any of this.”
“We are thankful. You’re allowing us to see your vulnerabilities because you feel safe enough to do that,” Savvas said.
My blood thundered in my ears. Was Savvas right? Was I so comfortable with them I could lose my composure like this? And then it hit me. I’d never been like this. With anyone. The urge to shoot from Ashir’s lap was there, but I was so wrung out, and his lap was comfortable and his hands stroking my body so hypnotizing that I couldn’t move. Instead I rested my head against his chest, taking comfort in the steady beat of his heart.
Savvas took my feet and brought them onto his lap, gently massaging my calves. He smiled, smoothing away the wetness on my cheeks with the pad of his thumb. Such a tender gesture that I couldn’t move away. My lips curved, my face pulling into a foreign shape as I snuggled more against Ashir. Dias brushed my sticky hair from my overheated neck. Refreshing air brushed across my nape when he blew to cool me down.
And still I stayed in Ashir’s lap with no desire to leave. Nor any desire to delve into why, so I focused on where Ashir had brought us.
“It’s so beautiful here. Peaceful,” I whispered.
He’d settled us on the soft grass of the river bank that edged the village. Light from the moss reflected off the dark river, scattering across the peaks in a glittering display. Giant trees with rounded trunks topped with sweeping overhanging leaves towered above our heads. Lights from huts glimmered along the bank on the other side of the river. To one side lay the fields of vegetation I’d spied from Shanyirra’s window. The sounds of the village were distant. It was quiet here, filled with peace I’d only known as a carefree child living in the deep jungle with my parents.
“For a prison, it’s got its perks,” Savvas said. I sighed as he ran his knuckle under the ball of my foot, easing away a knot.
“They’ve had millennia to perfect it,” Dias said.
“Long enough to train those horrendous bugs,” Savvas said. I felt a shiver go through his hands. Those creatures weren’t warm and fuzzy. They were beasts built to destroy. The name warbugs was apt.
“I’d like to ride one,” I said. I’d never given myself permission to want anything, and now I wanted to. Another side of me was awakening. Painfully birthed, and yet now it was born, I would cherish it.
“Would you now?” Ashir’s amused tone made heat break over my cheeks.
“That would add kerosene to the fire,” Dias muttered, but when I stole a glance over my shoulder his face was lit with a sexy smirk. His sleek brows lifted when he saw my attention fall to him. “You controlling one of those things, magic? I’d die happy.”
“Fierce and sexy,” Savvas said.
I swiveled my head to look at him. I didn’t miss the possessive heat in his eyes. Across all their faces. I shook my head, too worn out to push them away. If they couldn’t see the truth now, I could only state the obvious. “And broken.” There were too many parts of me to put together again. I thought there was an old childhood rhyme about that, but I only remembered the gist.
Ashir stroked my arm to cup my shoulder. “I don’t believe anyone could have lived the life you have and not be broken, but that makes you unique. I won’t promise to put you back together because you’re perfect the way you are. Every fractured piece of you.”
I blinked back more tears, but they were born from another reason.They knew me. They’dseen. I was flayed raw. Deep enough it surprised me I didn’t see my bones through my shredded soul.
Acceptance.
Forgiveness.
I’d never permitted either of those two things, and in a second they had annihilated them as though they’d never had a stronghold on me.
How could that even happen? Why so easily?
“And what of the grimoire?” I said, my voice hoarse.
“What of it?” Savvas asked.
Ashir kept me against his body when I would have leapt from his lap. His large hand curved around my waist, anchoring me. My anger flared anew. I was sick of being a victim to my flyaway emotions going from one extreme to the other.
If I didn’t have the grimoire inside me, I would gladly bond them. That was without any soul-light guiding my way. “Do you seriously have to ask? My parents put it inside me to keep it safe. They died to keep it safe. The same things will happen to you too. You’ll die because of it. Because ofme.
