Page 14 of Creed
“But you want to talk to them.”
It was such a non sequitur that I didn’t understand what he meant at first.
“Your friends back home,” he said, and I realized he was continuing the conversation from earlier as if there hadn’t been any interruption. “I know that you only just retired from service and haven’t been home very long. I’m sorry. I should have thought of that before dragging you out here with me. You must miss them.”
I shrugged and took a sip of my water bottle to give my hands something to do. Whenever I was nervous or lost in thought, I tended to doodle on any nearby piece of paper. It was relaxing, and keeping my hands busy helped ease my mind, but out in the middle of the woods there was neither pen nor paper for me to use, so I had to make do.
“It’s fine. If anything, I’m glad for the excuse to get away. Like I told you earlier, they’ve both... they’ve both got partners now. They’ve already started building their lives and I don’t know how to fit into the new dynamic.”
An awkward air hung around Kayden. I couldn’t interpret it, and I didn’t want to ask, so I let silence fall between us.
The birds that Kayden had scared off earlier returned, twittering away like they intended to chase him away just with the sound of their voices.
Kayden sighed.
“I was hoping I could figure out a more tactful way to ask you this, but I can’t think of anything. So, I suppose I’ll just have to come out and ask it. What... um, what is your relationship with Magnus and Brody?”
“What do you mean? We’re friends.”
“I know,” Kayden quickly assured me, though he kept his gaze pointed out toward the lake rather than look me in the eye. “But, like, is it any more than that?”
I thought about it for a moment, and the answer was surprisingly obvious. “I suppose so. We’ve served together for years. They’ve saved my skin countless times, and I’ve saved them. At this point, we’re more than friends. They’re like my brothers.”
I felt confident about this response, but Kayden only sighed again like he was disappointed.
“Yes, I’m sure serving together is a special kind of bond on its own, but I mean... Creed, come on. Normal friends don’t build a home together. That implies something more intimate.”
We were already past the half hour I’d allotted for our break, but any thought of continuing our journey disappeared from my mind as I stared at him blankly.
“Are you... are you asking me if I’m in some sort of threesome with Magnus and Brody.”
Kayden grumbled under his breath. “Well, with their partners included it’d be more like a fivesome. Is that the right term? I don’t know, but you get what I mean.”
Unbidden, the image popped into my head. The image of me with Brody and Magnus was already disturbing. To me, Magnus and Brody were like my brothers, and the thought of sleeping with them felt a lot like incest.
Adding in Trent and Ellis to the mix, however, took the disturbing thought and turned it comical. At first, I expected tobe angry over Kayden’s insinuation, but the image of all five of us trying to pile into the same bed was so ridiculous that I ended up laughing out loud.
“That’s not— No, it’s not like that. Brody, Magnus, and I are friends, but that’s it. We decided to pool our money to buy a property together because the real estate market is fucked, and we could get a lot more together than we could apart. Besides, none of us had any family worth returning to, so we were free to build our home anywhere.”
Kayden’s voice was so small that I barely heard him when he said, “You could have come back to me.”
It was said so quietly that I wasn’t sure what he said at first, and by the time I processed his words, he was already standing up and reaching for his pack.
“Come on. You said we needed to reach the campsite before nightfall, right? We should get going.”
He started walking in the wrong direction, and I had to quickly grab my own pack and run after him to keep him from getting lost. Although I knew that we should discuss Kayden’s last remark, it was clear he wanted to move on and forget he’d said anything. I had never been very good with conversation, even under the best circumstances. So, I chose the coward’s way out and let the matter drop. Our conversation eventually turned toward our plans once we made camp—where I had to explain exactly what that would entail—and it was as if Kayden’s questions by the lake never happened.
I was left with a mix of guilt and relief. Guilt that I had clearly upset my friend somehow, and relief that I didn’t have to navigate such a difficult conversation.
Facing down a swarm of armed combatants, or flying a rescue chopper through enemy airspace, no problem. I could charge forward without hesitation. Yet an emotional conversation had me running scared with my tail between my legs.
I would have slapped myself for my cowardice if I didn’t think it would make me look insane.
On a positive note, we made better progress in the second half of the day and managed to reach the planned campsite with half an hour of sunlight left.
The trees were very dense in this part of the forest. It would give us good shelter from the wind and keep the rain off us if the weather turned bad. There was a small area near the base of a stony cliff with just enough space for us to pitch a tent and make a fire.
“Are you sure you can handle the tent?” I asked Kayden as I started setting out stones to form a ring around the campfire to keep it contained.
