Page 32 of Creed
“A long time? How long, exactly?”
I tried to just shrug and play it off like I didn’t know the answer, but Creed didn’t accept that. He called me by my nickname again, using that same intimate tone of voice that filled me withwarmth all the way down to my toes, and I was helpless to keep anything from him.
“I guess I always kinda had feelings for you, but I knew for certain that I was in love with you when I was fifteen.”
Drawing back to put some space between us, Creed tipped up my chin, so I had to look at him.
“Your fifteenth birthday party?”
I cringed. “You remember that?”
“I remember you threw a fit. I didn’t remember why you were upset, but you said that I was a terrible friend and then didn’t talk to me for two weeks.”
I desperately wanted to look away from him, but he still held my chin, so I was forced to face him.
“You brought that girl from our class as a date to the party. I wanted to die inside, watching her sit on your lap like she belonged there. It took all my self-control not to drag her off of you by the hair.”
Dark eyes opened wide as Creed gaped at me. “That’s why? Fuck, I don’t even remember her name. What was it... Cindy? Carol? I don’t know. We dated for like, two weeks. The only thing worse than dating her was trying to break up with her.” Creed suddenly stopped talking for a moment, and I could practically see the lightbulb flash to life in his eyes as he made a connection. “Oh, that’s why you started talking to me again.”
“Don’t remind me,” I mumbled. My face burned with embarrassment as I recalled the childish actions of my teenage self. “God, I was a mess when I was younger. Still am, but nowI can at least hide it better. Younger me was a jealous little monster.”
Creed laughed and kissed my forehead. “I don’t mind. I was a mess back then, too. But that’s actually what I’m curious about. How did you know?”
“Know what?”
“That you were gay. You knew back when you were fifteen. How did you figure it out so quickly and how were you able to accept it? It took me forever to figure it out, and even now I’m still not that comfortable admitting it out loud. How did you do it?”
All I could do was shrug. “I don’t know. It was always just such a clear part of me, there was no point trying to deny it. As for how I was so comfortable admitting I was gay... I hate to say it, but the only person whose opinion I cared about was you. And you were so oblivious back then, I probably could have kissed you full on the mouth and you wouldn’t have realized what that mean. Other than that, I didn’t care if anyone else knew.”
This was one of the few topics we’d never really discussed, but even now, I could tell what Creed was thinking as his eyes darted around, looking for answers that weren’t there.
Wrapping a hand around his head in a firm grip, I pulled him into a deep kiss, effectively silencing the complex thoughts that had undoubtedly been building inside his head. The kiss lasted for several minutes, long enough to be sure that I had his full attention, but I pulled back just enough to speak.
“You know, it’s okay that it took you a while to figure yourself out. There’s no time limit for these things.”
“I know.” Creed nodded. “But I can’t help but think, if I’d been able to come to terms with it earlier, if I’d been able to admit that I was... gay, then we could have had a lot more time together.”
I couldn’t help it. I had to kiss him again. It was a much briefer exchange, but I poured as much emotion into it as I could.
“Oh, you silly, sentimental man. I love you. You know that? Maybe it’s too early to say, but I do.”
I watched as Creed hesitated as his own words stuck in his throat. Love was such a heavy word. He wasn’t ready to say it back to me yet, but that was all right. I was patient.
I’d waited this long already just to be able to admit my feelings for him. I could wait a little longer to finally hear them back.
The awkward moment was saved by a knock at the door. Creed and I both quickly stood from the bed, not wanting to be caught in an awkward position. The door only locked from the outside. While we couldn’t leave, anyone could just walk in at any time.
Luckily, the person on the other side waited for us to give the okay before even trying the handle. The young boy who opened the door had become familiar to us over the last few days. His name was Robyn, and he was by far the most pleasant part of this whole kidnapping fiasco. He always greeted us with a smile, and this time was no exception as he held up a tray.
“I’ve got food for you guys. Sorry it’s the same stuff as yesterday and, well, every meal. They won’t let me bring you anything else.”
Creed cleared some of his papers off the table so Robyn could set down the tray, presenting us our meager lunch of soup and bread.
Despite being only around twelve years old, Robyn was in charge of bringing us all our meals. After we’d first been locked in this room, one of the adult cult members had brought us our meals, but that had quickly turned sour when they tried to take the opportunity to threaten us. The ensuing scuffle had left Creed with a black eye, and the cult member with a broken arm.
Now, they sent us a child to bring us our meals instead, rightfully assuming that we wouldn’t attack someone so young.
“How’s your sister?” I asked the boy as I grabbed one of the bowls for myself. There was only one chair, which I let Creed have, so I awkwardly remained standing to eat. “Is she still sick?”
