Page 94 of Grave Misgivings
Mateo roves his gaze over me. “It’s Mateo,” he says cooly.
Mateo is tall, dark, and commanding. His aura is off putting. It’s not warm and friendly like Dare or Hailee. It’s serious, like he’s a CIA agent or something.
Hailee, who is much prettier in person than she is in photos, rolls her eyes, pulling me in for a hug that I can barely respond to before Geo tugs at my hand.
“Don’t mind him, he’s harmless,” she whispers in my ear.
“This is Zebulon, my—” His voice trails off, and when he looks at me I die a hundred deaths.
“Friend,” I say, my heart breaking on the word.
Because that’s what we are, right?
We were friends, once.
Then he left.
Then he came back, and we were friends, but we are also... more.
But I also know that this thing between us isn’t clearly defined, and I haven’t wanted to push it because I don’t want to pushhiminto something he isn’t ready for.
But not being able to call him my fucking boyfriend is a new sort of pain I never thought I would experience.
It dredges up all my fucking insecurities, all my demons.
Because that’s all I can be, right?
A friend?
Because he’sGravedigger.
He’s a two-time grammy winner who tours the world and writes sexy songs, and reaps my fucking soul from a world away.
He’s a rockstar, and he’s going toleave.
He’s going to leavemeagain.
I don’t miss the way the sparkle in his eyes dims.
Because of me.
I am the worst boyfriend-not boyfriend ever.
Mateo extends his hand. “It’s always a pleasure to meet someone Geo holds in such high regard.”
His grip on my hand is like a vice.
I squeeze back, using my own strength. “Who did you say you were again?” I bite.
Dare chuckles. “I like this demographic.”
“What?” I ask, dropping my hand as Geo pushes me away, his cheeks scarlet.
“Okay, that’s enough meet and greets for the day,” he says and his friends laugh.
Am I supposed to know what that means?
Great, now I’m out of my fucking element even more.
