Page 24 of Grave Misgivings
Still, it takes a good bit of energy and focus to keep the energy moving, but thankfully, the request part of my set always does a good job bridging the gap and ending the set.
Usually, folks will request the karaoke staples, likeDon’t Stop Believing,Sweet Caroline, or evenDon’t Go Breaking My Heart. Sometimes, though, at events like this, they’ll request popular songs, especially lately, because Katy’s been loading acoustic videos of me covering popular songs onto my YouTube.
But nothing could have prepared me for the request to playHeaven Sent.
I look at Katy, who just gives me a thumbs up.
Big help she is.
I could just tell them I don’t know the song, but I also don’t want to end this set on a note that leaves people dissatisfied, either.
So, I suck up my pride, my guilt, and the anxiety swimming in my stomach at the thought of Geo, and I do it.
I playhissong.
I know all the lyrics, because I’ve heard it a hundred times over, even when I try to avoid it.
Like I’ve tried to avoid everythingGravediggerputs out, because it hurts.
It reminds me of what Ilost.
“You’re the devil, baby, and I just want to be blessed,” I sing.
My heart aches with every line, because out of all his songs, this one just hits different.
Because it feels personal, even though I know it isn’t.
“I want to drown in you, baby, because you’reHeaven Sent.”
I steal a glance at Katy, watching as her eyes widen and she holds her hand over her heart.
“So good,” she mouths to me.
The crowd cheers and I bow, taking my leave.
“You sounded amazing out there, Zeb,” she says.
I force a smile. Because all I want to do is forget how those words make me feel.
CHAPTER 7
Zeb
After droppingKaty off to meet some friends for dinner, I bow out.
Not that I have anything against Katy’s friends or anything, I mean I consider some of them my friends, too, but I just want to go home, order some Door Dash, and curl up on my couch for a bit.
I know it’s probably stupid to get all bent out of shape over asong.
But it’s not just a song, to me. It’s the embodiment of everything that never was and never will be.
I’d written something similar, eleven years ago.
It was calledHellbound.
I wrote songs like crazy during those three years we worked together, and Geo was always interested in what I was writing. Every time I saw him, he asked if I was working on something, orbegged me to play for him, and every time, it was like a hundred balloon salute.
He had no idea my songs were about him, and that every time I serenaded him, I was putting my stupid heart out there.
