Page 21 of Grave Misgivings
Geo was held to higher standards because he was a boy, and he was the oldest.
“You need to set a good example,” his mother would say, as if hewerea child, when he was a fucking adult.
But he took his role seriously. For his sister, his family, his fans.
Even though it meant he had to put himself, his wants, his needs last.
Which is why even as pissed as I was that he left all those years ago for Hollywood, I understood why he did it.
He wanted the lights for himself. He wanted to be more than Geo Graves.
He wanted to beGravedigger.
He wanted to breakfree.
I just wanted him, and I didn’t have the fucking balls to tell him the truth.
And somehow, here I am, ten years later, and it’s like nothing’s changed.
Except, everything has changed.
I know I should have told him no, when he asked to call me later.
But I’m weak, when it comes to Geo Graves.
I mean, hesayshe’ll call, but he’ll probably forget. I shouldn’t get my hopes up.
What Ishoulddo, is get my shit together, because as I look at my watch, I note I have about ten minutes if I want to leave and pick Katy up on time for my gig at theFlower Festivaltoday.
Katy’s always been my ride or die, since the eighth grade. She was the reason I got the gig playing with Geo in the first place, and she was the one in my corner pushing me to keep making music on my own after he left.
She was also the first person I came out to, officially, after I turned twenty-one.
Sure enough, just as I manage to grab my phone, wallet, and keys, and head for the truck, she texts me.
Can we stop and get Starbies on the way, Z? Dad drank the last of my Sumatra Reserve.
I roll my eyes, shaking my head.
Damn the Graves.
Damn them all.
Depends. You buying me a coffee, too?I text her a pleading eyes emoji, and when she texts me back an emoji eye roll with the word,fine, I feel a little better.
Hey, I’m a starving musician, remember?
I slide into my truck, turning the radio on, the sound blaring loudly.
I freeze for a moment as familiar vocals fill my space, and I know I should change the channel.
Cast out on the edges
Looking for a sign
Heaven didn’t want me, baby
Because I wanted you to be mine
