Page 43 of Wild Fixation
“You’re done,” I say.
“It was just a picture.”
“No. You’re through, understand? And if you utter another word, you’ll wish Ionlyfired you.”
He claps his mouth shut, nodding this time instead of daring to answer. I haul him by the shirt out of the meet and greet room. The band is in the greenroom, sheltering Jacob. I catch only a glimpse of them huddled around Jacob before I drag Ryan outside and all but throw him into his car, snarling at him to get out of here before I decide to make this worse for him. He goes, but so do I the second his car disappears. I can’t bear to stay here and face that look on Jacob’s face one more time.
I’m supposed to protect him, but so far I’ve failed in that duty in every possible way. If I’m not touching him, undressing him, drinking up his moans in the dark, then I’m placing him in harm’s way. I can’t be the knight in shining armor he envisions, and if I keep trying, someone like Ryan might hurt him before I can stop it.
I only have one choice if I truly care about Jacob.
I can’t be the one protecting him.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jacob
HOURS LATER, MY ENTIRE band sits crowded around me in my otherwise empty, cavernous apartment. They’ve refused to leave my side since they saw what was unfolding at the meet and greet. As soon as Seth got Ryan out of the building, they put me in a car and took me home, and all four of them have stayed with me since.
My couch is large enough that we all could have plenty of space between us, but everyone sticks close to me. Levi sits on one side, his shoulder against mine, and Shawn on the other, his quiet presence like a blanket draped over me. Dan and Keannen are as close as they can get as well, and Keannen looks about ready to start a fight with the wall.
“I can’t believe that asshole thought he could do that,” Keannen says for the fifth or sixth time. “The next time I see him…”
“There won’t be a next time,” Shawn says, firm and low and hard. He’s so quiet people tend to underestimate him, but beneath the introversion lurks a fiery passion that usually only comes out in his music. I guess seeing a friend in trouble brings it out as well.
I sit quietly, too shaken to say or do anything. Something like that has never happened to me. Sure, we have some overenthusiastic fans. Plus there’s the paparazzi, of course. But I’ve never had someone just … grab me that way. It was like I weighed nothing, like I was a kite and Ryan held the string. The second I realized I was helpless, something inside me broke, a thread snapping to unleash a flood of pure, disabling panic. I couldn’t seem to do anything, not until it looked like Seth was going to punch Ryan’s face into paste.
I glance up from the hands clasped between my knees as though Seth might walk into the room any moment. Seeing him snapped me out of my panic, and I yearn for his presence even hours later. My knight in shining armor. If he was here, I’d feel better, steadier, but he stormed out with Ryan and no one has seen or heard from him since. I want to reach out, to tell him I need him now more than ever, but my band hasn’t left my side. I simply have to hope he’ll head over here after he deals with the situation.
When someone knocks at my door, my heart leaps, but when Dan answers, it’s just Emmett, our manager. The tall, lanky man gives Dan a nod, then sweeps into the room, all business.
“Jacob,” he says curtly. “How are you?”
There’s little real concern behind the question. It’s more a courtesy than anything else. Emmett wouldn’t come here only to check on me. He must have some sort of news for us.
“I’m okay,” I say.
“Good,” he says. “I’m glad you’re all with him,” he adds for the rest of the band. “Obviously, this is not how we hoped or anticipated the event would go.”
“It wasn’t anyone’s fault,” I say.
“Well, it was, in fact,” Emmett says, “but we’ve handled that.”
Worry knits my brows together. “Handled it?”
“Ryan has been fired, of course,” Emmett says. “That kind of behavior is beyond unacceptable. It’s clear he is not fit to be a bodyguard to anyone in this band, but you most of all, Jacob. In fact, I imagine he’ll have a very hard time finding work with anyone in the industry after this incident.”
Relief and regret war inside me. I certainly don’t think what Ryan did is okay, and I don’t want him to do it to anyone else, but I don’t want to ruin his life either. Maybe I’m being too kind to a guy who violated every personal and professional boundary, but it isn’t like he physically hurt me.
“Hey,” Shawn says softly beside me, as though he can hear my racing thoughts. “It’s the right call, and it wasn’t your call to make. Emmett’s doing the right thing. That could have been dangerous.”
Dangerous. My exhale shudders. I didn’t even consider it being dangerous. As a guy, that’s not something I’ve thought about all that much, but man or not, Ryan is massive compared to me, so I guess anything really could have happened. The whole thing is kind of a blur, but if Seth hadn’t come out, if no one had noticed, if Ryan had decided he wanted something else, what could I have done?
I startle out of my spiraling thoughts when Shawn takes my hand. He’s not a touchy guy, so it’s certainly strange to have him grab me out of nowhere, but the friendly touch is so, so welcome. It tethers me back to the present and drags me out of my head, where everything is a confused mess.
“I didn’t think about … being in danger,” I say.
“I know,” Shawn says with a squeeze.
