Page 84 of Fox
“W-What is this?” I breathe, though I knowexactlywhat it is.
“It’s the contract for you to take over one hundred percent of the ownership of Hel’s.”
“There’s no price.”
“You’ve already paid it,” she whispers softly. “You deserve the shop. You deserve to be happy. It’s all I want, Fox. I want you to be happy.”
“Why?” I croak out, my heart trying to break through my rib cage.
“Isn’t it obvious?” Her laugh is small and weak. “Fox, I’m in love with you.”
“That’s a good move, though! Ensuring you get all the power over the shop. Keep her satisfiedfor the year, and then she’ll gladly sign it all to you. Hell, maybe the dumb bitch will fall in love with the unlovable Fox Simmons and just give it to you.”
Liza’s words from Vegas hit me, and I feel ill.
“No,” I state firmly, dropping the folder in her lap. “I’m not having the shop donated to me. You’re getting your cut. I’ll write you a check and make payments. It’ll help you in Chicago.” Her entire body vibrates as she stares at me in shock.
“D-Did you? Fox, I just told you I’m in love with you.” I feel my heart crack, and I know that crack will never be repaired.
“I know,” I manage through the lump in my throat. “I didn’t ask you to fall in love with me and give me the shop. That wasn’t part of the deal.”
“Part of the deal? Fox, are you serious right now? How can you be like this? I’m telling you I wantyou.I’m in love withyou. I wantyouto have the shop, and I want to be withyou.And you’re going to sit there and tell me you don’t want the same?” Kill me. God, if you’re real, fucking take my ass and throw me into the pits of hell right now. Even the seventh circle of hell would be a reprieve from what I feel right now.
“You need to go to Chicago. I’ll send you a check when I get back home.”
“Tell me not to go, Fox.” Her small, cracking voice pleads. “Please, tell me you want to stay with me and that I have to return to California with you. Tell me—Tell me I’m not the only one falling in love here. Tell me, and I’ll go home. Chicago will never be brought up again, and we will figure Hel’s out.” I must look like an idiot. I can feel my slack jaw. I am hot and cold at the same time, and I am pretty sure I’m starting to shake at this point.
She’s in love with me. Janie Pierce, the brat determined to stay my sworn enemy and make my life a living hell, is sitting beside me, tears running down her cheeks, begging me to tell her that I feel the same and that she can’t go.
Tell me not to go.
“I can’t, Janie.” I manage, though I feel like someone’s squeezing my throat. “I can’t tell you not to go—”
“You can!” She forces out through a sob. She clasps her tiny hands around mine and presses my palm to her chest. I feel her poor heart beating as hard and rapid as my own.
“You can tell me, Fox! You love bossing me around. Just tell me that you’re fall—”
“I can’t,” I say sternly, removing my hand from her heart. “Janie, I can’t say what you want me to say. I can’t say I’m falling in love with you and that you need to stay. I can’t have you giving me the shop and giving up your life because you think you’re in love with me.” Her being this close to me is suffocating. I stand up and put some space between us.
Turning back, I look at her face and wish I could take back those words. But I can’t. You can’t unring a bell. The look of devastation and rejection taking over her features is enough to make me want to beat my own ass for causing her this pain.
“Oh,” her voice is so small that I can’t be sure if she actually speaks the words or if I imagined them. I can see her trying to smile, but her mouth won’t cooperate. “Well, that changes things then, doesn’t it?” I watch as she wipes her palms on her leggings before standing and heading to her bags. “I didn’t realize this was so one-sided.”
“What are you doing?” I ask when she puts her backpack on.
She refuses to look up at me as she grabs her stuff. “I’m going to get another room.”
“What? No! Janie, wait—” I stop myself as she finally stares up at me with shattered eyes. I didn’t know eyes could look so broken, and it is something I could’ve gone without knowing. “Janie, it’s not that this is one-sided. Baby—"
“Good night, Fox.” She walks out the door, and once it clicks shut, I break down. What do I do? Looking back at my room, it’s all blurry from my unshed tears. This isn’t how I wanted it to end. She wasn’t supposed to give me Hel’s. She can’t just give me that shop. I wasn’t with her for the shop and her telling me that she’s giving it to me because I deserve it and she loves me…
I slump onto the edge of the mattress and drop my head in my hands, wishing like hell I could take it all back. “I love you too, Janie.”
THIRTY-FOUR
janie
The loud screaming of my alarm pulls me out of my thoughts. Though it’s more like staring blankly into nothingness because my mind, body, and heart are too exhausted from sobbing to do anything else.
