Page 14 of My Husband's Wife
I can’t tell Zach why I don’t want to speak to her, but if I don’t call, she’ll start messaging and leaving even more voicemails. Even worse, she might just turn up.
‘Eva?’
‘What?’ I look up from my phone.
‘You seem a bit distant tonight. You’re not having second thoughts about the move, are you?’
Why would he think that? ‘No. I love it here.’
‘You’ve seemed distant all week. It got me thinking; you’ve moved away from your mum, your work friends, your whole support network. Caiden is missing his friends. He told me. It’s okay to feel a little bit unsettled.’ He pauses. ‘You would tell me if you weren’t okay, wouldn’t you?’
I’ve only briefly touched on my past. Zach knows that I’ve suffered with my mental health but he doesn’t know how bad it got, how I had a stress-related breakdown after failing year two at uni, then how I had the mother of all relapses when Caiden was born. He’s worried about me and I like that. I want to lean over and kiss him, and tell him that everything is okay. Mostly, I want him to not even think about my mental health, especially if Mum is texting him direct. One wrong word to Mum and she’ll be over like a shot to take over my life. Actually, I am going to lean over and kiss him gently, show him that I’m fine.
Caiden pretends to put his fingers down his throat and giggles.
‘I am so happy. I think I’m just tired, what with starting my new job.’ Do not mention thinking you saw Hugo or he’ll think you’re crazy. A part of me wants to share those nagging inner thoughts, but the little voice in my head is telling me to keep my mouth shut. ‘I love you.’
‘Love you too. Remember, we’re in this together so just kick me if you want me to help with anything.’
I go to kiss him but his lips barely brush mine before he pulls away. Things don’t feel right and I don’t know why. He’s saying the right things but there’s a distance between us that I can’t explain. Maybe I’m just imagining it. It’s been a long day. ‘I’ll go upstairs and ring Mum.’
‘Good idea. That’ll be one more job off your plate.’
I’m always anxious when I procrastinate. Maybe that’s all it is and I’ve nothing to get anxious about. ‘You’re right as usual. Mum is a worry monster and if I don’t call her, I’ll have three million missed calls before the night is out.’ Now I feel mean. I sound like I’m calling my mum to stop her hassling me. It is in part true but I think the world of Mum.
‘Great. Me and the CaiMan are going to put some popcorn in the microwave and choose a film to watch on Netflix.’
Zach stands and high fives Caiden as they walk to the kitchen and pull a huge bowl out from the cupboard. It clatters on the worktop until it settles.
I grab my phone and head upstairs to our bedroom.
A chill in the air sends a shiver through me so I get into bed and prop the pillows up. Phone in hand, I call Mum and she instantly answers.
‘Eva, is everything okay? I’ve been worrying like mad about you.’
‘I’m fine, Mum. I’ve been really busy with the new job, that’s all.’
She sighs. ‘It feels like you’ve been avoiding me.’
‘Sorry, I didn’t mean for it to feel that way.’ I allow a silence to replace our conversation. It’s as if Mum is waiting for me to speak. I can’t help myself so I say something. ‘Mum?’
‘What is it, sweetheart? Mums know when something’s wrong and they know when they’re being avoided.’
I know sharing my inner thoughts with Mum is risky but I have no one else to talk to. Mum loves a real-life crime programme as much as the next person which is why I want to open up to her a little. ‘Mum, I know we’ve spoken about things like this before but I’ve been wondering how accurate DNA really is. Hasn’t everyone got unique DNA?’ I say that with doubt. I could have searched online for the answer but I didn’t. All I have in my head is what the police told me. They concluded that the body at the bottom of the huge hill was Hugo’s, and that there was no room for any kind of doubt.
‘They do. Is this about Hugo? It’s okay to think about him and miss him. I know you’re married to Zach now but Hugo was your husband, he was Caiden’s father and you had a whole life planned out together. It’s okay to still be grieving but you have to accept he’s gone.’
‘I do. Oh, did you give Caiden a raven toy, the same as the one Hugo used to have in his car?’
‘No.’ She pauses. ‘I let him rummage through a box of things that one of my friends left at the house to add to my charity shop pile. Maybe there was one in there.’
I puff my cheeks out and exhale slowly. ‘Maybe.’ She’s silent. Neither of us wants to talk about the last time I was hospitalised, so I am going to refuse to bring that up.
‘Are you looking after yourself?’
‘I feel great. I’m eating well, getting my steps in and the sea air really agrees with me.’
‘So why are you asking about DNA?’
