Page 23 of Playing With Secrets
“Just go. I can’t…”
She’s going through this turmoil because of me. Rationally, I know I’m not responsible for the ectopicpregnancy, but I can’t help feeling if I had waited to be with her when we had protection, then she wouldn’t be living through another terrible loss of a child.
I turn, open the door, and peek back over my shoulder. “Dori, know this. I don’t want this for you. I never meant to hurt you this way.”
She sucks in a breath, holding back another wave of sadness. “I know.”
By the darkness shrouding her green eyes, I’m not sure she believes it. I hang my head and leave, praying I don’t die from heartache on my drive back home.
I get back to my place, void of any emotion. I kick off my shoes and toss my jacket on a bench near the coat closet.
Why do I keep losing the things I love the most?
I’m starting to believe I’m meant to live my life alone, with no wife or kids of my own. Maybe because I was spoiled and loved by my mom and dad more than anything else they had, I’m not deserving of having a family of my own. One I can take care of and love like my parents loved me.
That can’t be the case. I can’t allow myself to believe that. Otherwise, that means I’m giving up on Dori. And I’ll never give up on her.
I check for signs of Aiden, but figure he won’t be back anytime soon. It works out well for me. I can hide in my bedroom and try to figure out how to be there for Dori when she’s receptive to letting me.
It’s freezing out, so I run a hot shower and let the cascades of water wash my agony away. My thoughts swirl with images of Dori and how I can help her through this.
We spent an unbelievable night of passion together, andout of that; we created a baby. I latch on to that night to escape the misery of the day.
I need to feel something good, something warm and comforting that will help me forget my pain and let go of all my worries. It may be selfish and inappropriate as hell considering what Dori’s going through, but fuck it. No one will ever know.
I need a release from all my losses, so I dive into my memory. A perfect vision of Dori that night comes to mind as I stroke my cock up and down.
She’s got her shoulders pinned to the bed, her ass up, and I’m pressing on her inviable boundaries so I don’t hurt her from this angle. The moonlight beams through the window and shines directly on her face.
She’s gorgeous, bowed over and taking my commands like a seasoned pro. She makes me so fucking proud.
I could come right now, but I slow my thrusts. She’s going to come a few more times before I lose all control and burst inside her. She can count on that.
As for me, I’ve already decided I’m going to bury myself so deep inside of her when I come, she’ll feel every last inch of me. Something about it brings a primal urge in me.
“See what you do to me, temptress? You drive me out of my mind.”
“You do the same to me.” Her eyes squeeze shut, but she quickly opens them, almost like she remembered I demanded she watch. “You feel so good, Jami.”
“Fuck, you feel better than any words could describe.” I glide in and out, even slower than before.
Her pussy tightens around me, and I stop moving altogether. If I don’t, this will be over before it even starts.
I arch over her back, bring my fingers to her swollen bud, and gently circle my fingertips over it. “Is the pressure okay?”
“Yes. It’s…” She gasps when I try something different. “Oh my god, Jami. Just like that.”
I smile, learning something new about her. I have my thumb pressingon the upper part of her clit near the bone while my fingers work over the top of it, sliding between two fingers tightly.
She likes heavy stimulation. Nice.
Some women like a feathery touch. It’s good and all, but knowing Dori can handle it more roughly is damn alluring. It gives me more options.
I alternate from this way to the way I first started massaging her. She squeezes my dick harder with the pulsing waves of her walls. I’m barely moving in and out, trying to hold it together.
This woman undoes me.
“Dori, can you come like this?”
