Page 117 of Playing With Secrets
He comes up behind me and rests his hands on my shoulders. “You can’t get past this, can you?”
I face him. “No, I can’t. My mother married her boss and then quit. She hasn’t worked a day since. She’s stuck with my dad because she gave up her career to be with him. I don’t want that for myself.”
“Tell me how we get through this. How do we make it to the other side and get back together?” His arms fall to his side.
“I don’t know, or I would’ve done it a long time ago.” I take his hands in mine. “This isn’t easy for me, but you deserve to know everything.”
“I don’t like the sound of where this is going.” He tries to pull away from me, but I don’t let him.
“My heart is with you, but it’s also with Jamison. I’ve never talked to you about this because of how angry you get, so please try to remain calm.”
“So when you told me you wanted to rebuild your friendship with him, was that the truth?” He drops my hands.
“Yes. My relationship with him is based on the foundation of friendship. Without that, he and I have nothing.”
“Be honest with me. Do you want more with him?”
My posture softens as I know I’m about to break Hunter’s heart. “I’m sorry, but I think I do.”
As horrible as I feel, a weight lifts from my shoulders. Hunter deserves to know I love Jamison. He needs to understand the whole picture.
“I don’t understand this.” He steps away and marches to his coat. “I need some time to think about everything.”
“Hunter, please don’t leave like this. Try to see this from my point of view. I’ve known him for a long time and after we… I love him.” My heart squeezes.
“You love him? That’s great news. Just what I was hoping you’d say.” His sarcasm is evident.
“Hunter, I still lo?—”
“Don’t say it.” He spins back to me, his face red. “It’s not possible to love two people. Not in the same way or on the same level.”
I rush to him. “I never said I love you the same way. You’re two very different men. It’s hard to explain, but I love you too.”
His face burns red. “That makes no sense. Your heart can’t be in two places at once.”
“You’ve got to believe me when I tell you this, but I’m not trying to hurt you. I just want to be honest with you. I don’t want to lie to you or hide it. Jamison knows I love you both, and it’s only right you know it too.”
“Why? What purpose does it serve?” Hunter’s chest heaves as he fights for air.
“I’m telling you so you understand that I’m struggling. There’s a lot more to all of this than you realize. If it was just you and the problems we face, this wouldn’t be so hard. But he’s in the picture, making this decision difficult.”
Hunter laughs sardonically. “I wonder if you would feel that way if you knew everything there is to know about your perfect Jamison.”
“What does that mean?”
Hunter shakes his head. “Maybe you should ask him.”
Jamison’s words echo in my ears. He’s in trouble. He admitted he had a mess he needed to clean up before we could go forward, but he promised me he would tell me everything when the time was right. My mouth goes dry and my heart shrinks with dread.
Could his troubles mean the end for us?
Hunter’s shoulders square as he stands tall. “I’m not perfect, but neither is he. You should know that going forward.”
“I never said he was perfect.”
“You didn’t have to. If this is about who you want more, it’s only fair you see him for the entire man he is. Not just the one you’ve held on a pedestal since college. He’s got secrets and they’re not small ones that you’ll easily be able to turn a blind eye to.”
My eyes narrow. “What do you know about his secrets?”
