Page 29 of I Would Stay Forever
I frowned as well. “I just tied it back.”
The poor guy looked utterly confused. “But it looks completely different.”
“Well, yeah. It just helps give it shape, but?—”
“It looks like a new shirt.” He grabbed my shoulders and turned me this way and that, his frown of confusion only deepening with every second. Finally, he dropped his hands and shook his head. “I don’t understand girls.”
I laughed softly. “Well, I don’t understand boys, so maybe that works out okay.”
That silence fell over us again, feeling both comfortable and tension-filled at once. I knew I should go back inside, but something was holding me in place, like I couldn’t leave.
Dean cleared his throat. “So, uh, I’ll put your other shirt in my car, okay? And I can give it back to you this weekend or at school.”
It was such a small thing for him to offer, but for some reason, it warmed me up inside.
“Just make sure Sebastian doesn’t see,” I said. It was meant to be a joke but my tone came out more serious, and the way Dean nodded solemnly told me he thought of it as such too. What happened tonight—whatever it was and whatever it meant—was a secret to both him and me. Strangely, I liked the thought of it. A secret friendship. Maybe that was why Dean hadn’t told Sebastian about us being in the same class. Maybe he thought it made it more special too.
fifteen
The front porchlights were still on when Paige’s sister, our designated driver for the night, dropped me off at my house. My siblings and I didn’t have curfews, aside from a general sense of getting home before dawn and not being allowed to complain to our parents that we were tired the next day, so Mum always left the lights on for us when we were out. She always joked that she worried we would accidentally try to walk into the wrong house in the dark otherwise.
I wasn’t sure if Sebastian was still out, so I left the lights on when I walked in, but closed the door as quietly as I could behind me, not wanting to disturb him or Mum if they were already asleep. I kicked off my trainers in the general direction of where the others were piled in the front entryway and was ready to head straight upstairs when I heard the murmur of voices coming from the living room. I frowned and crept forward to poke my head in.
Mum was sitting on the couch with her legs stretched out across it and the blue light from the TV screen lighting up her face. She was sipping from her glass of wine when she noticed me, but she used her spare hand to wave me in.
“Sorry,” I whispered. “I hope you weren’t staying up on my account.”
Mum usually fell asleep pretty closely after her shifts, especially when she had late-night ones. And she’d been working so much lately trying to make up for Dad’s absence that she often crashed after coming home.
“Don’t worry, your brother’s still out anyway,” she said, waving off my concern. She tucked her legs under her and patted the couch. “Come sit.”
Even though I was dead tired coming off the party, I walked to the closer end of the couch and curled up. I hadn’t seen much of Mum lately, between her extra shifts at the hospital, me hiding in my room for most of August, and now school. Even when we did see each other, it was with Sebastian, Imogen, and Ainsley here too. Time alone with her was hard to come by at the best of times, let alone now.
I glanced at the TV, where some Lifetime film was playing. Mum was addicted to them and I’d spent enough time watching them alongside her, even if I wasn’t paying too much attention, that I had a pretty good sense of the plot within two minutes: a woman with a big city job goes to a small town and reluctantly needs the help of a small-town man, but they misunderstand each other at first. I was positive they would be in love in the next hour, but I wasn’t sure if I would be awake for that long.
When the film flipped to commercial, Mum looked at me again. “How was the party? That’s where you were, right?”
I nodded, then pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my head against the back cushions of the couch. Now that I was away from the crowds of people and music blasting, exhaustion was hitting me hard.
“Yeah, over on Meadow Street. It was fun.”
“Good, I’m…” Mum trailed off as a small frown crossed her face. I waited for her to finish what she was saying, but when she was silent for a full minute, I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Are you okay?” I asked.
“Oh, I just...” She pursed her lips together and shook her head, then cleared her throat. “Well, I… I just want to make sure you’re being safe, honey.”
I frowned, not following her at all. “Safe? You mean getting home from the party? Because I wasn’t the one driving. I mean, I did drink a little bit, but...”
“No, no,” she interrupted. “I mean, um, with...” She looked a little like she’d swallowed a lemon. But she patted a hand on my knee and said, “Are you on birth control? Do we need to maybe make a doctor’s?—”
“Excuse me?” My voice came out shrill. “What do you mean? Why would I— What?” My words were stumbling out quicker than I could keep up with them. I wasn’t really sure how to even begin to approach it. “What are you talking about?”
She didn’t say anything, but her eyes drifted down to my chest and then back up. I frowned and looked down, then flushed bright red when I realized what assumptions she had made.
“No, no, no,” I said, waving my hands around. “It’s not like that, it’s not…” I trailed off and let out a deep sigh as Mum smiled in a placating way, clearly not believing me.
“I know it’s an awkward thing to talk about with your mum, but I just want to make sure that you’re okay and know your opt?—”
