Page 42 of Poles Apart
Jordan nodded. “I will, I promise.”
“OK, well, I’ll go get us some food, and you can have some more meds.”
He prepared an easy meal of soup with grilled cheese sandwiches, which they ate together in Jordan’s room. After some more small talk, Dom saw Jordan’s eyes drooping, and before long, he was fast asleep.
He crept from his room, quietly closing the door. He tidied up the kitchen and the rest of the apartment, but before long, he grew tired himself and decided to go back to bed. He took his phone out again and brought up his last conversation with Jacob. He was surprised to see a text there from him, the time stamp saying it had recently come through.
Hi, I had a fantastic time last night. Can’t wait to do that again with you. See you on Sunday? Jx
Fuck! If only he hadn’t sent this, his next text would be so much easier, but this, this one he knew was going to hurt Jacob again. Still, he knew it had to be done. He hesitated for just a moment as he remembered last night. How Jacob had looked at him and how he’d felt, but then thoughts of Jordan, the look of pain on his face, swam in his mind. As much as it hurt him too, he was convinced this was for the best.
Hi, I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. I have my reasons, but it isn’t you. Don’t ever think it was you. This is all me, and I’m so very sorry. Please forgive me. Dom xx
Chapter Twenty-Two
Jacob
Jacob couldn’t believe Dom’s text. When he’d dropped him home earlier, he’d given no indication that anything was wrong. They’d had great sex that morning, and Dom’s threats to tie him up had had him hard for most of the day.
So to say he was fucking annoyed to get this was, well, it was ridiculous. What the hell should he do with it, though? He lay there, his phone in his hand, and thought about his options. He knew there had to be a reason for Dom’s about-turn. Dom wouldn’t have just cut him off like that, knowing what had happened to them both last time. And last night, he’d said he was ready. Ready to take it further.
He looked at his phone. It was a little after ten. Jacob knew he was up; he’d sent the text for fuck’s sake, but he wasn’t going to lie there and accept it. He had to call him and find out once and for all what was going on.
The phone rang and rang. Jacob had resigned himself to the fact that he wasn’t going to answer, but as he was about to hang up, he heard the line connect.
“Dom,” Jacob said softly. As frustrated as he was with him, he didn’t have it in his heart to get cross with him. The only thing Jacob could think might be wrong was if something had happened to his brother.
“Talk to me, Dom. Tell me why.”
“I can’t do it, Jacob,” Dom said quietly. “Jordan—” Jacob thought he heard a tremble in his voice. “When I got home earlier, he was stuck in bed, in agony. If I hadn’t come back—” Dom sniffled. Jacob could tell he was losing it.
“Stop it, Dom. Stop it right there. Whatever this is, whatever’s going on, we can work through it. Please don’t push me away, not now. We’ve only just found each other again, and I’m damned if I’m going to go quietly.”
“But I wasn’t here, Jacob.” Dom’s voice was so quiet, Jacob was struggling to hear him. “What if something even worse happens and I’m not here?”
“Hey, enough of that. This could have happened at any time. Why don’t you tell me what happened? Explain to me what’s going through that beautiful head of yours.”
Jacob heard Dom laugh softly, and he felt a little better. At least he could do that for him when things were obviously getting to him. He suspected the text he’d sent was a knee-jerk reaction to the situation with Jordan, but Jacob was desperate to understand why he’d done it.
Dom sighed, and Jacob could tell he’d won this one.
“When I got home, I couldn’t find him. He wasn’t up, and it didn’t look as if he’d been up either. I found him in his bed, unable to move at all. What if I hadn’t come home when I did? He’d have been like that all day. I can’t risk it, Jacob.”
Jacob was going to have to watch what he said here. He knew that Dom was fiercely protective of his brother, would do anything for him, including giving up any chance of a life. He didn’t want to dismiss his loyalty to Jordan. Dom had already said he was all he had, but didn’t he deserve a life too? There had to be some way where he could have both. Jacob was determined not to give up on him, on them.
“Look, I know this is hard for you right now, but I know that you’ve been out during the day before and he’s been fine. You’ve stayed over at Seb’s too, and nothing’s happened. Is it because you were with me? Is this why you want to give up on us when we’ve only just started?”
“No, that’s not it at all. His back went into spasm because of some of the exercises he’s been doing. Basically, he’d overdone it.” Dom started to sound more like himself the longer he talked, and Jacob was hoping that he’d decide that the text he’d sent was premature, that he should have spoken to Jacob first before making this decision. “But he was here, on his own, suffering, and I wasn’t here. I was more interested in getting my end away when I should have been looking after him.”
“You think what we did was a mistake? Is that what you’re saying? That you regret what we did? Because I don’t believe you for one minute, Dom. How could you feel that way after all we’ve been through together?”
The phone was silent, and Jacob thought he’d ended the call. He checked but saw that they were still connected. He waited. He wanted to know what Dom thought, what his reasons were for ending it so soon.
“I don’t think it was a mistake, no. I loved everything about last night and this morning. I’m sorry if you felt that. But how can I have both, Jacob? How can I look after Jordan and be with you at the same time? I don’t see a way.”
Jacob was struggling to see a way too, not if they were going to spend more nights like that together where Dom wouldn’t be at home with his brother, but he wasn’t giving in with this. He just wasn’t. He needed Dom to see that he was it for him. He always had been.
“Look, I know this morning was difficult, but please Dom, don’t give up on us now. We can find a way; I know we can. I don’t want to spend the next eight years wondering what could have been. If you turn your back on us now, will we always do that?”
