Page 43 of Poles Apart
He heard the hitch in Dom’s voice as he spoke. “I don’t know, Jacob. It’s not that I’m turning my back on you. Fuck, I don’t know what to do. When I sent the text, I meant every word but talking to you now. I-I…”
“You what, Dom? Look, if it helps, no more staying overnight. To be honest, it’s not easy for me to get someone to watch Abby either, so we’re both in the same predicament. How about we carry on and see where this goes? Let’s take it slow and steady. I know you said you were ready earlier, and as good as the sex was—and believe me, it was good—let’s take it slow. How about we date for a while? What do you say?” Jacob really hoped he’d reconsider, but he knew if he pushed too hard now, he could very well drive Dom away.
He waited again, but Dom didn’t speak. He forged ahead, knowing he needed to tread carefully.
“OK, so here’s what we’ll do. I’ll see you on Sunday for Abby’s next lesson, and we’ll take it slow again, go back to how we were before last night.”
Again, he thought Dom had hung up, but then he heard a quiet “OK and I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking straight, and you’re not the first person to tell me to have a life. It’s so hard, you know?” He huffed out a small laugh. “We were good together, weren’t we?”
“Yeah, we were, Dom. Just like before.” Jacob was happy he’d called now but hoped Dom wouldn’t overthink this and change his mind again by the time Sunday came around.
“I’ll see you on Sunday then. And Jacob? Thanks for not giving up on us. If it had been up to me, I’d have ended it.”
“I know, and I would understand if you did decide that this was it. I hope your brother’s OK, and we’ll both see you on Sunday. I’m always here, Dom. Always here for you, you know that don’t you?”
“Yeah, I do. Sleep well, Jacob.”
“You too, Dom.”
Jacob waited for Dom to end the call, but he didn’t and neither did he, so he lay there in his bed listening to him breathe, wishing he was there with him, inhaling the scent of him, his taut muscles against his, his warm skin. He didn’t want to end the call, and at some point, he could hear the soft snuffles of Dom sleeping.
“I still love you,” he whispered into the phone, knowing Dom wouldn’t hear him, but that was fine. Dom wasn’t ready to hear it yet, and when he was, he’d tell him. Every day if he had to. He wanted everybody to know that for him, Dom was and always had been the one.
He hung up and lay in his bed, self-doubt and all manner of thoughts running through his head. Would Dom call off the lessons so there would be no need to see him again? Would he not want to bother after having time to think about it? He hoped not. He wasn’t ready to call it quits if he was honest with himself. But he supposed he might have to face up to that if Dom wasn’t one hundred percent sure.
These thoughts occupied his mind for most of the night, but he finally slept and woke up the next morning as Abby brought him a cup of tea.
“Who were you speaking to last night? You were on for ages.” She sat on the end of the bed with her own cup. Clearly, she was not going anywhere until he told her.
“Dom. His brother’s recovering from an accident, as you know, and he had a bit of a setback yesterday.”
He put down his tea and lay back in his bed, his hand underneath his head.
“I don’t know where I stand with him at the moment, and I don’t think he knows what he wants. He needs to look after his brother, but I think, I hope, he wants to be with me too. He’s struggling to find a balance, a way to have both.”
Jacob wouldn’t normally be comfortable sharing this much with Abby, but she had such a maturity about her, and he didn’t always have someone to confide in. They’d become closer the older she’d got, and sometimes, her naivety helped him understand.
“I think you’ll find a way. You know you can leave me here on my own, or I could invite a friend around one night, if you wouldn’t mind? Then I wouldn’t be on my own if you did want to go out with Dom again.”
“I know, but I think we need to get back on the same page first. I’m a few chapters ahead of where Dom is at the moment, and he needs to catch up to me, or we need to find some middle ground between us.”
He looked over at his sister, and she smiled at him. “How can he not see what’s right in front of him? You’re a catch, Jakey.” She dug her fingers in his ribs and tickled him.
“Ah, stop it. I was going to take you out for breakfast, but you can forget that now.” He laughed.
“OK, I’ll stop. Can we go now, though? I’m starving.” Abby pouted.
“Get out then and let me get dressed, then we’ll go.”
She whooped and jumped off his bed, singing as she left his room.
What would he do without her? His life could have been so different if he hadn’t come back to look after her, but he wouldn’t have it any differently. If he hadn’t come back, he’d never have found Dom again, and that was something he was grateful for.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Dom
He woke a few hours after speaking to Jacob to find his phone still on his pillow. The call had disconnected, but he hadn’t remembered doing that. He knew answering the phone would be a mistake, knew that if he spoke to Jacob, he’d talk him out of what he’d decided to do. But did that mean he hadn’t actually wanted to end it? That somewhere deep down, he wanted this to carry on with Jacob? He was unsure how he felt about it. Jacob had talked to him, hadn’t coerced or persuaded him, just told him that he was willing to try, willing to go slow, willing to date him, and he’d gone along with it.
