Page 52 of Of Fate and Phantoms
"His lordship is in his study, sir," the butler said, relief flooding his face. "Would you like me to announce you?"
"No." Lincoln turned away and waited for me to go before him down the steps.
"Why did you ask after Gillingham?" I said as he opened the coach door. "Did you simply want to know if he was there?"
He nodded. "Gus, drive somewhere until it's dark then bring us back, but not here. A street or two away will be sufficient. Charlie and I can walk from there."
"A half hour ought to do it," Gus said with a glance at the sky.
"I'll turn my back while you change," Lincoln said as we drove off.
"You expect to be climbing to her room after all?" I asked.
"I do. The butler was lying. She's at home."
"I know. But what if she goes out for the evening?"
"Then we'll wait for her return in her room."
"But a maid might see us in the meantime."
"If you don't wish to go, I can do it alone."
"And sit with Gus in the cold carriage and wait for you? No thanks. I'm coming."
He gave me a satisfied smirk. He'd known all along that I wouldn't allow him to go without me.
He turned his back and I changed into the boys' trousers and shirt. In the confines of a moving carriage, it wasn't the smoothest change I'd done, or the quickest, but I managed.
"You can look now," I said, doing up the top button of my shirt. "Help me on with the jacket."
I lifted my hair and he slipped the jacket around my shoulders. His fingers skimmed my bare skin. The touch was fleeting and impersonal, thanks in part to his gloves. I sighed inwardly, wishing for more.
I slid across the seat until my back rested against his chest. I grasped his arm and positioned it around my waist. He tensed and his fingers hovered above my hip, not touching.
After a moment, I felt his body relax, as if he'd given up the fight to remain unaffected by our closeness. He kissed the top of my head.
"Will you leave your hair up?" he asked.
"Down, I think. I could tuck it into my clothing." I reached up and began plucking out pins. "The darkness will hide its length, and hopefully my feminine curves."
The vibrations from his chuckle rippled through me. "Sometimes I wonder how you fooled me back then. I had no inkling. I must have been blind."
"I was as thin as a rake with no feminine curves to speak of. You weren't blind, you simply didn't expect a girl so you didn't see one."
"Julia suspected."
I knew she'd been the one to first put it to him that I might not be a boy. I'd hated her for it then. Sometimes, I still hated her but for different reasons. But that hatred was no longer as strong as it had been. Perhaps because she held no hold over Lincoln, or perhaps because I felt a little sorry for her nowadays.
"Whatever her faults," I said, "she is very astute when it comes to understanding people."
"Not all people. She has underestimated someone badly." He meant the person who'd gone to the newspapers with the story of Lady H's past as a dancer.
I collected the hairpins and tipped them into my reticule. Lincoln removed his gloves and set them on the seat beside me.
"What are you doing?" I asked.
He responded by raking his fingers gently through my hair. "It's so long now," he murmured, fascination edging his tone. "Much longer than mine."
