Page 51 of Of Fate and Phantoms
"I know." I took his hand in mine and squeezed.
"Then…?" He shook his head and looked out the window.
"Why haven't I picked up the ring?"
"You're not ready," he said. "I understand."
Did he truly? Sometimes, I wasn't sure why I hadn't put the ring on either. I loved him and I knew he loved me. I wanted to marry him. But I didn't want to rush. No matter how much he said that nothing would change between us, I knew it would. Legally, I became his property. I'd been free and independent for so long, the step into marriage seemed enormous.
Yet he'd already given me a cottage, in my name, and had it written into legal documents that no husband could take it from me. Were those legal documents binding? I felt stupid for not knowing. The property contract might as well have been written in Latin, it was so complicated, and I'd never even been into a bank, let alone had an account in one. A woman had to utterly trust that her future husband had her best interests at heart before she put his ring on her finger.
"It's growing dark," he said.
"Yes. So?"
"If Gillingham forbids us to see his wife, we'll wait until it's completely dark and climb in through her window."
I stared at him. "You're serious, aren't you?"
"It's how I got in last time."
"You expect me to go too?"
"You're capable. I've seen you scale walls and climb trees no matter how you were dressed."
"Yes, but I'd wager her rooms are not on the first floor, and probably not even the second, and a house is not a tree."
"There are foot holds on the window frames and plumbing pipes. Your legs should reach them. I brought rope to tie you to me, just in case. If you slip, you won't fall far. But I don't think you'll slip."
"You are serious." I laughed, despite my apprehension. "But my dress will get in the way."
He handed me the satchel. "Your boys clothes are in there."
I pulled out the trousers and shirt. "You're mad."
He suddenly grinned. It made my stomach do a little somersault in delight. "I know you like to climb," he said.
The prospect of climbing again did thrill me. I enjoyed being outdoors, up high, where no one bothered to look and the view took your breath away. "This is a strange way to bring us closer together," I said. "Most men go courting with flowers and tickets to the theater. You bring rope and trousers."
"I'm not like most men."
We asked the butler if Lady Gillingham was at home, and were met with guilty silence then a stumbling, "Er, well, she's indisposed at the moment. That is to say, she's out. Taking in the air, sir."
"She's gone for a walk?" I inquired, all innocence.
"Yes. Hyde Park."
"Excellent. Perhaps we can join her."
His eyes widened. "No!"
"Why not?"
"I just remembered, she's not at Hyde Park." The butler chewed the inside of his bottom lip until I urged him to go on with a nod. "Her ladyship is…somewhere else. She didn't tell me where she was going."
"Is Lord Gillingham at home?" Lincoln asked.
Why did he want to speak to that horrid man? I thought we wanted to avoid him.
