Page 112 of The Breaking Pointe
missing how things used to be wasn’t something I knew about.I always assumed he despised me to some degree, due to our differences in age and attitude. Seems I was wrong. We’re both searching to make things go back to how they used to be.
Getting up, I pause my train of deep thought, treading out of the art room to meet Trey. I could already hear him roughhousing with Bonnie in the kitchen.
“Hey,” I say, watching Steven grab his backpack and rush out of the front door.
“Long time no see.Came to check on you,” he says, standing up from petting the pup.
“No updates.Same shit, different day, man,” I say, leaning against the island.
Hefinallylooksatme,almostjoltingback.
“Ever heard of clippers?You know, the thing with the blades?I heard it makes facial hair look pretty good.”He playfully jabs.
I roll my eyes, tossing my painting towel over my shoulder. “I’ve been preoccupied, alright? Now, did you come here for a reason, or just to talk shit?”I almost sprout a half smile.
“I came here for a reason, honest. You just look like you could cosplay Jesus Christ.”He chuckles.“You going to Noelle’s tomorrow?”
“Funny,” I leer. “Yes, me and Steven are going together.” “Good.” He nods. “I saw her this morning while running pastherstudio.Shetoldmetoswingby.I’mhopingtosee
you two.”
“Yeah, of course. I wouldn’t miss it. She cares about this a lot, and I care about her,” I say, rubbing at my beard.
“Okay,simp.”Hechuckles.
I rip the paint towel from my shoulder and twist it, whip- ping his arm with it.
“Ow!”Helaughs.“AmIwrong?!”
I finally smile.“No.Any other comments you wanna make?”
He smirks. “Yeah. Lemme know when you tell her you’re in love so I can plan the wedding.”
“Trey, man, I am not in love,” I state, huffing.
“Right now, maybe not yet.But you’re going through a rough patch. From what I’m hearing lately, it’s a lot more than you havingsome feelingsfor her.” He crosses his arms. “We’re in a honeymoon phase.It’s always good in the
beginning.”I cross my arms in defense.
He stares at me with a skeptical expression, questioning me with his eyes.
“Okay—it’s deeper than me only liking her.So what? She’s different, okay?She’s fun—and she makes me feel like I can be myself. Hannah never did. I never knew I could have this feeling, and it’s like a drug. It feels like I need more of her, every second of the day—so sue me for letting my guard down, for real this time,” I rapidly speak.
“You love her.” He smiles, smacking my arm. “It’s sweet, bro. Now all you gotta do is admit it to yourself.” He chortles. “Denial is not just a river in Egypt, Cole.”
“Whatever.I’m not in denial.Simply taking my time. Trying to not scare away the only thing in my life right now that brings me a genuine sense of joy,” I fluster.
“She’s not going anywhere, genius.She would’ve been scared away ages ago if she was. Remember her crazy ass ex still exists.” He gives me a pointed look. “I gotta run. Gym time. Was gonna ask if you wanted to join?” heoffers.
I shake my head.“Therapy.”
He purses his lips.“Way more important than a dumbbell.” He half-smiles.“I’ll see you tomorrow night, then,” he says before making his way to the door.
“See you,” I say softly, watching the door close behind him.
Ididn’tthinkIlovedherbeforehecame.Now,I’m questioning myself.Saying those three words is locking in for good. It’s chancing the idea that I might have to face my fears once again, like I did with Hannah.The years I spent rebuilding my walls, Noelle has spent months taking it down so that she can get to the real me, and it’s working. Trey makes a good point.All I have to do is admit it to myself.
I won’t say that I’m in love because I don’t want to buckle at the wrong time.I’m in a vulnerable state of mind—of course, I want love.I want it like a fiend, and I want itfrom Noelle Mayberry. But with the small chance that she’s moving slower than I am, or rather, not thinking of me in that way at all, it makes me want to cower.
