Page 140 of Faking Forever 1
It’s too bad I can’t make time go slower—or better yet, just pause it altogether. There aren’t enough pictures on my phone or conversations that could explain how I’m already holding onto this summer. The way things began, I had no idea I would see Paisley again this soon. I would prefer no other plot than the one we carried out. The only thing I regret is not bringing her back into my life sooner. I could’ve been happier a long time ago.However, if I play my cards right, I’ll get to have this euphoric feeling forever—and that’s worth the suffering.
I’m still going to worry about the possibilities for us because 337
FAKING FOREVER
that’s just a part of the distance aspect, I think. It’s so easy to forget about the life you used to lead when new things keep getting tossed in front of you. If she ever wanted to leave her past behind, it’s not up to me to convince her to change her mind. It’ll be a harsh reality, but that’s also one of the risks we’re taking with being together. I want to take all the risks, even miles away.
Keeping myself busy isn’t going to be a challenge. Trying to keep my patience and not spread myself too thin will be the part that gets me. I’m becoming a perpetualyes-manand it’s causing all kinds of boundaries to be crossed. Beau is example number one. Except it’s harder to lash out at someone that you view as your brother and share almost ten years’ worth of history with. We should be way better at communicating. I never thought we would ever even come close to putting our hands on each other. Here I am, proved wrong. I don’t want to admit that that’s what happens when you have habits like his.
Paisley had to nicely break down to Sierra that he couldn’t come to the cookout because she was scared it would happen again. I know Sierra felt rotten having to tell him that it wasn’t a good look and that we’re still not over what initially happened. I couldn’t conceptualize it happening again, but this time in front of her entire family. She should get to enjoy at least one party this summer that doesn’t involve faking, nearly broken noses, hurricanes, or drunks.
I wanted to be on her arm and follow her like a puppy, but that would be wrong of me. As excited as I might be, her family waspulling at every limb to get a chance to talk with her. She was extremely popular with her aunts and uncles. Her aunts poked at her cheeks and played in her hair like she was a well-338
A LITTLE MORE TIME
known princess while her uncles were slipping her bills greater than twenty every time they got wind of something else she’d achieved while she was gone. She was taking in every one of their gestures of affection like it was the last. A simple reminder of how long she was gone.
She has four cousins that are around our age as well: Billy, Leo, Robin and Sophia. Billy has a son, and about forty minutes ago while I was shoving linguine salad down my trap, Paisley was telling me that Robin is finally pregnant. Robin was always someone Paisley strongly admired. She rarely gets to see her since she moved to Florida, but once upon a time, when shedidlive here, Paisley followed her lifestyle like it was a rule book to her life. Eventually, she grew out of it, but it was still fun to hear her get excited about things surrounding how she viewed her future self. Evenifit involved babies which made me uptight.
Tate and I had been tossing a football back and forth, trying to burn off the temptation to have a snooze fest in the living room. Every holiday I spend with this family is either to stuff yourself or face all the older women who spend hours in the kitchen and have no problem tearing you a new one. Since I was a human vacuum, it wasn’t much of a hassle for me, but the feeling afterward was like you might explode at any given footstep. It’s Italian culture, yes, but for Italianwomen, it’s also the finest and most devious way of showing affection. I can’t wait for Paisley to be yelling at me in twenty years to either eat her cooking or face her wrath. I’ll takebothon a silver platter for the rest of my life, please, and thank you.
“Okay, I gotta get water,” I call out to Tate, who was feet across from me. “Any more movement and I might throw up your mom’s five-layer salad, man,” I add, walking closer to 339
FAKING FOREVER
him with the ball in my hand.
His face brightens, smiling. “Yeah, you say that now, but I bet you’re gonna stack another plate of it in an hour.” He chuckles, taking the football from me.
“Hey, it’s just what I do, okay? Eating is technically a hobby at this point.” I shrug, clasping my hands together.
His chuckle lingers a little as I look around the yard. I could’ve sworn Paisley said that Tate had a girlfriend. I would’ve expected him to bring her. Around six or seven months ago, he went on a series of different times he would choose to speak about her to me, indirectly asking for advice, which I was happy to help him with. What got me was he would never give her a name at the time—only describe her. A few weeks before Paisley came home, I realized he had been pretty busy and asked to hang out a lot less. I knownowthat it’s because they started dating and I can’t blame him, considering it is his first relationship. While that’s a marvelous thing to experience, I kind of miss having the little bird brain around.
He’s a sweet kid with a lot of potential.
“So this girl you’re dating—this is the same girl that you were bringing up a while ago?” I query him. He walks with me to the tables that hold the food with coolers nearby.
“She is,” he tilts his head to the side uncomfortably, “but we aren’t together anymore. She broke up with me.”
“Oh.” I wiggle my head back a little. “That sucks, Tate, I’m sorry.” I reach down to the cooler as we approach it and fish out the first bottle of water that I see.
“It is what it is. She thinks I’ll be a distraction and wants to focus on show choir and becoming valedictorian.” He watches me as we now stand feet apart after I stand straight up.
“Do you think you’ll get back together?” I raise my eye-340
A LITTLE MORE TIME
brows. This had me invested from the heart, only because he was growing up and it was nostalgic to watch. Plus, I was curious about what I missed as a side character in his world.
“Not unless she somehow maintains feelings for me until next May. She made it pretty clear. I just want her to be happy.”
He folds his arms across his chest.
“That’s mature of you.” I nod, opening the bottle. “You know, though, Tate, you’re seventeen. Worst case scenario?
You meet another cute girl and all those feelings will cease to exist in your memory.” I take a few sips.
“That sounds great—but you wouldn’t happen to have any advice on getting over her, would you? I like her a lot, Josh. I saw it coming, but it still smacked me like a truck.” He rubs his arm, blankly staring at the ground.
