Page 30 of Somewhere Only We Know
“Dad, are you sure you’re okay?” I ask again.
“I’m fine, Nate,” he rasps and clears his throat. “When you get older you’ll find it’s easier to lose your voice after laughing.”
“Okay,” I say skeptically.
I watch my parents interact. How my mom hovers over my dad with worry covering every surface of her face and his nonchalance to his second coughing fit.
The truth is that we like to believe that our parents are invincible. That they’ll live with us until it’s time for us to pass together. But the startling realization that your parents are getting older and you can’t do anything other than helplessly watch is something that nobody prepares you for.
My mom meets my worried stare and gives me a reassuring smile. Knowing I can’t do anything, I wordlessly get up from the sofa and head back out to the kitchen. Something is wrong, but knowing my parents they’ll brush off my concern. Maybe they’re right and I’m just overthinking. But something is gnawing at me that they’re lying.
“Hey, Nate?” My little sister Kayla asks from the couch.
I turn and face her. “Yeah, munchkin?”
“Can we go get ice cream?”
Shaking my head with a smile, because since I’ve been home, we’ve had ice cream just about every day. Sometimes twice. I’m not complaining though because it’s been hot at the beach and the small businesses make some of the best ice cream.
I walk to the bowl that holds the car keys and find mine. “Let’s go.”
Kayla scrambles off the couch and runs to get her shoes on. I pop my head back into the office and see my parents with their heads together having what looks like an intense conversation. They didn’t notice me so I back out and knock on the wall to alert them.
“Hey, I’m taking Kayla out for dinner and then ice cream.” I tell them as I pop my head back in.
My mom looks at me with clouded eyes and a bright smile. A dichotomy if I ever saw one. “Okay, sweetheart.”
Again, I ignore the weird feeling I’m getting from them and head out to the car. Kayla hops in the backseat and I wait to hear the seatbelt click before pulling off. I drive the familiar path to the diner I loved coming to as a kid. It’s nothing too special, but it’s cheap and, next to fair food and baseball stadium food, they have the best hot dogs. Thinking back to when I left Jax, I could have brought her with me. I should have brought her with me. My friends hounded me about my girlfriend and it would’ve been a good opportunity for her to blend in with my family. But in order for us to work, we need time apart. And let’s be real, this will prepare us for next year.
Finding a parking spot, I get out and open Kayla’s door. She grabs my hand as we cross the busy path and shuffle inside. The cooks instruct us to find an empty table and Kayla picks one right in the middle.
“What are you getting?” I ask.
“Mmmm, maybe a hotdog and fries.”
“Sounds like a plan,” I tell her and when the waitress comes over I do just that.
I listen to my sister talk about whatever it is eleven yearolds are into these days and I listen intently. She carries our conversation and for that I’m thankful because I can’t seem to find anything to say without wanting to scream that something’s wrong. I’ve never been a suspicious person. But even I can’t ignore how, whatever is happening with my parents, is bigger than they want to let on.
17
NATE
PRESENT DAY
Bryce screams as he’s chased around the field by the youth group camp that’s being held here this week. Even though we’re in the thick of baseball season, we always find time to give back to the community. Our baseball camps have some of the biggest turnouts and seeing the kids chase Bryce reminds me of Kayla, although she’s far from that age.
“So I learned something interesting this past week,” Chance starts as he comes to stand next to me.
“What’s that?”
“That you and a certain someone used to date. Or, how did Sophie put it? In looooovvvvvveeee,” he exaggerates the last word and I shove him lightheartedly with his maniacal laughter turning the heads of some of the parents.
“How does she know?”
“My future wife and your ex are besties now. Plus, they had a girls night recently and apparently that’s when the beans were spilled.”
I’m not in the habit of clobbering my teammates, but Chance makes it so easy. Although knowing Jax talkedabout us, eases my worries that there may be hope for us yet.
