Page 31 of Somewhere Only We Know
“If you want my advice–” Chance starts.
“I really don’t.” I tell him and pull the brim of my hat down further, but he ignores me like I said nothing.
“Don’t wait. I had a front row seat to what happened with Liam and Kamryn. The man was a wreck when he saw she moved on with Mason. Which, to be fair, Mason was a hot commodity in college, so I see why he acted out. But I don’t want to see that happen with you on the off-chance that she does finally move on from her ex and you.”
“Is there a point to your story?”
He slaps his hand down on my shoulder and I look at it before looking at him. “Yeah. Don’t wait. Life is too short to not spend it with the one you love.”
Chance walks away to help out the catchers while I stay posted up by the dugout. Since running into Jax a few weeks ago, I haven’t stopped thinking about her. Granted, I haven’t stopped thinking about her since I was eighteen; but this is different. I feel like I need her in a visceral way. Like once she finally gives me more than five minutes to talk to her, the puzzle pieces will click into place.
The rest of the day is spent helping the younger ones learn how to catch a ball in the outfield, how to throw to the cutoff, how to crow hop, and the best way to shield your eyes from the glaring sun. I laugh more than I have in years and it’s a strange feeling that rattles in my chest. Like the muscles I used to laugh are squeaking as they’re used for the first time in years.
Since my dad passed away, it’s like I’ve been underwater. Sounds are not as clear, colors have lost their vibrancy, and life has not been as enjoyable. But after one hit of Jax, I feelmyself about to break the tension as I finally come up for air.
I busy myself in picking up the equipment we used for today’s drills and drop them in the trunk that’s in the dugout.
“Before I forget,” Chance starts as he, Bryce, and I walk off the field and towards the tunnel. “Soph and I are doing a joint bachelor and bachelorette party in Vegas once the season ends. Naturally, you two are invited.”
“Why so soon?” Bryce asks.
“Because we get, what, like three months with no baseball before we’re off to Spring Training? Even then we’re not technically off. And then it’s preseason.”
Bryce and I nod our heads like it makes sense.
“We’re in,” I answer for the both of us. “When are you thinking?”
“The week after Thanksgiving.”
“Sounds good,” Bryce says.
We push out of the doors and to the parking lot. Saying our goodbyes, I hop in my truck and just sit. Thinking about my next move.
I shouldn’t be here,I say to myself as I find myself in front of Jax’s place. By listening to Chance in my battle to not wait, and Kamryn telling me to fight for her, I went to the store and bought the candies she likes. Or at least I hope she still likes them as I put them in a basket. If not, she can let them sit on her kitchen counter until they expire for all I care.
What Chance doesn’t know is that I would blow through every red light to be with her. But Jax is holding onto her hurt like it’s her lifeline and I’m the pit of snakes at thebottom. I turn off my truck, grab the basket and hop out. As I’m walking up the few feet of pavers to the front door, I hope she’s home. I haven’t seen any movement inside, but she could’ve seen me sitting at the curb and assume I’m a stalker.
Taking a breath, I ring the doorbell. To avoid the crushing realization that she might not be home, I turn and focus my gaze on her front entryway. To the pot of flowers that are reminiscent of those we awed over in college. With those, the fire that lights the match for us gives me hope. And my heart leaps to my throat when the door unlocks and flies open.
“Hi,” I breathe out and swallow. I’m twenty-eight years old, the getting tongue-tied around pretty women should’ve stopped. But nope! Jax looked beautiful in anything and that hasn’t changed even in an oversized shirt that hits her thighs and the sweatpants that look like they’ve seen better days.
“Hey,” she says slowly and manages to keep her eyes on my face, unlike me who’s taken in every little piece of her.
I hold out the basket for her, nearly tossing it in her direction. “I got this for you.”
Her eyebrows scrunch but she tentatively takes the gift. “Thanks.”
Her dog bodies past her and comes to greet me with its tail wagging and tongue falling out of its mouth. I drop down to my knees and greet it. “Hello, to you too. Your Mommy doesn’t like me very much so I don’t know what to call you.”
Jax snorts but I keep my eyes on her dog. “Her name is Sully.”
“Hi, Sully. Maybe you can put in a good word with your Mom because I’m quite positive that she and I are meant to be.” I continue petting Sully and see Jax shuffle on her feet,realizing I’ve likely overstayed my welcome since I rang the doorbell. Standing up to my full height, I look at the girl who’s had my heart for almost half of my life. “If I text you, will you respond?”
“Depends on what you text me,” is what she responds.
Six words. I hold onto those six words like they were personally made for me.
“Noted. Enjoy the candy.” I leave her standing in the doorway as I trot down the stairs and to my truck. When I glance over, she’s eyeing me like I’m a stranger. And in a sense I am. But she is too.
