Page 17 of Greedy Grizzly
God, how could I have been so stupid?
Landon feared being judged and ostracized like he’d been treated in the foster home he’d grown up in. He had hidden that he was gay from his club brothers with the OG president’s permission. Landon had been pretty messed up after Matt had found him and gave him shelter in the club. Eventually, he’d become a member.
I arrived at the club a few years after Landon. It had been nearly ten months before he acknowledged me. He’d just stay behind a computer screen and seemed to shut out the world.
Then one night, during a club party, he took my hand and led me to his bedroom. I had been shocked, but also thrilled that out of all the girls he had picked me. When we were inside his room he told me, “Do not speak of what happens in here. What we do is nobody’s business.”
His words had been firm and sent a shiver down my spine. I thought I’d hit the jackpot. That he might be into kinky stuff like me. But all we’d done was sit in silence for two hours, then he sent me on my way. As he demanded, I didn’t say a word about what we did, even though the other girls had been dying to know.
Gradually, I’d gained his trust and he opened up to me. Landon had pretended to be with me for a long time so nobody questioned if he was straight. The more he opened up to me, the closer we’d grown to each other. It seemed once he fully trusted me, he let me pleasure him. And eventually, he took the lead and reciprocated.
Despite preferring men, he had fallen in love with me.
I betrayed the love of my life…
A sob formed in my chest and my hands trembled at my sides. How could I have been so stupid?
I had honestly believed Angel and I had bonded that day. Why would I’ve believed anything else? I’d shared something very private and personal, something that hadn’t been my news to tell.
Never in a million years had I considered she’d tell Storm, but then I should have. Storm was her husband and the club’s president.
“You are an awful person,” I told myself, staring in the mirror. I’d ran into the clubhouse’s public bathroom and locked myself inside after Landon left the compound. It had felt wrong to go up to his bedroom, even if it had become my room, too. In the club, we were a couple. I just hadn’t let him claim me yet. Now, I regretted not letting him.
He’d never trust me again, after I betrayed him for my own selfish reasons.
I nodded, knowing it was true.
I had been trying to gain the respect of the old ladies ever since the Carla incident. She’d been the senior Kitten and managed the rest of us. She’d also been Storm’s personal club girl, not because he felt more for her or anything like that. He’d tolerated her at best and never appeared to like her.
That was probably why he’d picked Carla—because he’d never fall in love with her. Clearly, Storm hadn’t been blind to her fake kindness. She’d been a snotty bitch to all the club girls and only pretended to be nice to the men.
But not sharing Carla with the others had boosted her ego. She’d believed Storm would one day claim her but the rest of us had seen it as a power move. A way for Storm to flex his control by making one of us off limits to the members. I’d been relievedhe hadn’t picked me for that position. If he had, I wouldn’t have gotten to be with all the other bikers.
I’d become a club girl to forget my past and the love I’d lost. I also enjoyed sex immensely, which worked out for me being a Kitten because falling in love had been the last thing I wanted. And yet, I’d fallen in love regardless of my attempts not to.
Blowing out a shaky breath, I dried my eyes and tried to get control of myself. The old ladies were probably talking about me and wondering what happened. My life would be over if they ever found out about Landon’s secret because of me. Obviously, if he chose to come out, that was his business.
Disgust boiled in my core. I should have never breathed a word about Landon’s sexual orientation. It wasn’t my place to talk about him. I’d crossed the line.
“It’s all your fault. You allowed yourself to open up to him. You got too close. You fell in love with him.” I nodded, fully admitting I was in love with Landon Graves. Deeply in love. If he didn’t forgive me and broke up with me, I would die.
A soft knock on the door startled me. “Libby, how are you doing, sweets?” Angel asked in a low voice.
“I’m okay. I’ll just be a minute.”
“Please let me in.”
I really didn’t want to see her, but how could I refuse? She was the president’s old lady. Although, if I said no, I was confident she would respect my wishes. Still, I was in no place to burn anymore bridges.
I unlocked the door and stepped back to let her enter. The guilt on her pretty face was palpable.
“I am so sorry,” she said as she hugged me.
“It’s okay. I should have kept it to myself.” That stupid hindsight was always twenty twenty.
She pulled back. “It’s not okay. I only told Storm to put it on his radar in case Grizzly found someone he was interested in. I mean, you know how Storm is.” She rolled her eyes dramatically.
“Yes, we all know how he is.”
