Page 18 of Greedy Grizzly
“His over-the-top reactions are epic but he’s been getting better. I was only trying to avoid him getting caught off guard. I promise you. He doesn’t have a problem with Grizzly being gay.” Maddy was talking a mile a minute. She really didn’t need to explain all this to me.
“It’s really okay.” Although my breaking heart didn’t agree.
“It’s not. I feel horrible about what happened.”
“It’s not your fault. It’s mine.”
“If he’d just told Storm himself, this could’ve been avoided. It’s not like there are club rules about it. Storm would be cool with whoever Grizzly wants to be with. I promise.” She exhaled a deep breath. “But obviously, he picked you so I shouldn’t have been worried.”
More guilt slammed into me. “In the long run, it might be good that this happened. Just don’t tell anyone else.” Of course, it wasn’t good for me because I probably lost the love of my life. Lessons learned…
“No.” Maddy shook her head. “I haven’t nor will I tell anyone else. Storm is the only one who knows. I mean, he is my husband and we don’t keep secrets. Still, you can trust me.” I adored her for owning up to her part in the matter. She was truly an incredible person, but I probably wouldn’t confide in her the same way ever again.
I slowly exhaled a cleansing breath. “I think I’m ready.”
“It’ll be fine. Nobody will say anything.”
“But they did witness Grizzly’s anger with me. They will be curious about what happened.”
“Yes, they will be curious. But you don’t have to tell them anything and they won’t pressure you.”
“I know. They’re all wonderful women.”
“Mhm.” Maddy smiled as she opened the door.
More guilt sprouted in my heart as I exited the bathroom. Maddy didn’t know everything. She didn’t know her older brother was who Landon had been crushing on for over a year. She had no idea Toby was bi-sexual, according to him. I had never seen him with a man. If she suspected something, she never mentioned it to me.
Toby had kept his family in the dark so he wouldn’t turn their world upside down. I’d thought he was being dramatic. But the more he talked about his folks being strong Christians. Conservative Christians. Respected Christians in their small town, he wasn’t being dramatic at all. His family had lost his younger brother, Tommy, in a fatal drowning accident more than fifteen years ago. He truly believed he’d break their hearts when he came out. Disappointing his parents would destroy Toby, so he had kept quiet until recently.
Traveling around the world had made things easy for Toby. He could be himself without fear and judgment from his parents.
I didn’t know all the details of his visit. Only that he was coming to confess his feelings to Landon. And I essentially blew everything up.
Activity abounded in the clubhouse as we made our way toward the kitchen. Meal prep continued with supper time fast approaching. Through the soft clinking of dishes, I heard the whispering.
“We’re back,” Maddy announced. “What do you all need help with?”
The room fell silent and all the attention went to me.
“I think we have it covered.” Sugar placed her hands on her hips as she surveyed the large island, acting as if nothing happened. “When will your lemon tarts be put out? With the meal or after?”
Maddy went to the commercial fridge to check on her dessert. She also acted as if my whole world hadn’t just blown up. “I’ll bring them out after. They need a little more time chilling.”
Just then, baby Chase started fussing.
Maddy turned toward me. “Can you get him for me, sweets?”
“Of course.” I went to the infant and took him into my arms, melting as I cuddled him. His sweet baby scent was like a healing balm to my soul.
Chase was like my emotional support baby. Where some had pets for emotional support, the babies in the club were mine. After all, I probably wouldn’t have a baby of my own to love and cuddle. Not that I’d been told I couldn’t have one. My doctor had given me plenty of hope that it was possible, but she couldn’t promise me I’d conceive if I tried.
But now that my life was falling apart, it was good Landon and I hadn’t gotten pregnant. Since we’d been committed to each other and officially in a relationship, I’d stopped using birth control, per my doctor’s advice. Landon and I had the attitude that if I got pregnant we’d be happy and if I didn’t, nothing would change for us.
He was probably thanking his lucky stars for dodging the baby bullet after my betrayal.
Chase quieted as I gently bounced him. I absorbed his calmness into my soul and faced the window to avoid the women in the kitchen. They cared about me and meant well, and I loved them for it.
But I couldn’t bring them into the fold about Landon. It wasn’t my place and not my news to share. The consequences of my actions could have ruined my whole life and I wouldn’t make it any worse.
