Page 110 of Hawk
“I’ve always wanted one but wasn’t sure what to get. They don’t wash off, so it has to be perfect,” Stella responded, and he nodded his understanding.
“You should have Hailey draw something for you,” Rose suggested, and Stella looked confused. “She’s quite talented.”
“Hailey is an amazing painter and artist. She has a small studio in the back of Needles’s shop where she does most of her work. You should stop by sometime and see what she’s created,” Violet explained, and I could see a change in Stella’s demeanor.
No one else seemed to notice, but I did. Leaning over, I whispered, “Don’t let the demons into your head, darlin’.”
“How did you know?” she asked quietly, and I kissed her softly.
“I know you. Don’t get stuck in your head. Time is on your side, so there’s is no shame in not knowing everything about her. Does she know everything about you?” Stella shook her head, “Then you learn. Okay?”
“Okay,” she replied as the blunt made its way back to her.
We sat under the pavilion and enjoyed everyone’s company until the last rays of the sun had disappeared from the sky. Grace and Skid had come by for a bit, but they were sitting off to the side, visiting with a brother from out of town. Needles looked at Violet and smiled before offering her his hand. They stood, and he silently saluted us as they walked to a dark part of the compound.
I knew what they were going to do, and when it dawned on Stella, I could see the blush pushing up on her beautiful face. Rose and Jackal stood, and Rose said, “We’re going to go inside for a while. Do you want to join us?”
Stella looked and me and silently said no. I lifted my eyes over her head and replied, “We’ll see you later.”
Rose winked at me as they left us alone under the pavilion. I brought my gaze back to Stella. “Do you want to stay for a while more or have you had enough?”
She looked around the compound and turned back to me. “I’m ready to go.”
Smiling at her, I stood and helped her from her seat. Hailey and Jacob had left about thirty minutes ago, and as we walked toward the side of the clubhouse, Grace offered us a wave from her seat with Skid. Stella waved back as I guided her to the side of the building and away from the loud party.
I’m sure her first Death Hounds party was too much for her, but she hung in longer than I expected. There was alcohol flowing, weed being passed around, club girls dancing half-naked, and a few of the brothers were making out with their old ladies in clear view of everyone. I would never expose Stella that way, but it was fine for others.
As we walked down the path toward the cabin we stayed in last night, she gave me a strange look. I smiled as I explained, “We’re set up in the bigger cabin, but Sadie left this one for us to use tonight, if we wanted to.”
“Oh,” she replied, and I felt like she was suddenly unsure.
I stopped us halfway to the cabin and turned her to face me. “If you’re having second thoughts about this, all you have to do is say so. I don’t want you to think there’re any expectations or requirements. I just want you, but if you’re not ready for that, then we wait.” I kissed her softly. “It’s all about you.”
“It’s not that. It’s just . . . what if I’m not any good at it? Or what if I freak out? You don’t deserve that.”
I clasped her cheek in my palm as I reasoned, “It’s not about what I deserve. It’s about what you deserve. And what you want or don’t want. I told you I’d wait forever, and if you’re never ready, then that’s okay too. I just want you to be happy.”
“You make me happy, and I . . . I want to try,” she explained.
“Then we go slow, and if it gets to be too much, we stop. I promise, I’m a big boy and it’s not going to hurt my feelings.”
As we resumed walking, she looked up at me and asked, “Really?”
“Really. The last few days with you have been the best days of my life. So, if tonight isn’t the night, we have forever to try.”
“You’re a good man, Colton,” Stella said as we climbed the stairs to my old cabin.
Opening the door, I ushered her inside. There weren’t big changes to the cabin since it would be turned over to another brother soon, but all the personal touches were missing. I guided Stella to the couch, and we sat down. I wanted to ravage her, but going slow seemed prudent in this situation.
“I’m . . . I’m not sure how to do this,” she admitted, and I leaned over and kissed her gently.
Pulling back, I looked into her eyes and asked, “Since the last time I saw you, what have you . . . tried?”
“Nothing,” she whispered, and that’s what I’d figured.
“How about this? You take a shower, and when you get out, I’ll give you a massage. Then, we’ll see where it goes. But promise me one thing,” I requested, and she waited to hear what I wanted. “If, at any point, you aren’t completely into what’s happening, you say stop and we stop. I’ll be happy just holding you all night. Okay?”
“Okay,” she responded, and I helped her from the couch.
