Page 1 of The Hand That Holds Me
“Happy Birthday!” My best friend Caroline barreled through my bedroom door, jumping on my bed, and jostling me awake.
“Good Morning, Sunshine” I muttered to her as I was being shook awake by the most annoyingly loud and loving person I have ever met, by best friend and sister for life, Caroline. “What time is it?”
“Its 6 am and it’s going to be a beautiful day! The sun is shining and I’ve made plans for us today. It’s time to get up because we have to be on the road in 2 hours!” she squealed to me, making me wince from the loud noises coming from her.
“Really? What do you have planned that requires me to be in awake at 6 and on the road by 8? Come on, Caroline, I’m really tired and I didn’t get home until almost midnight. Randall made me stay late and close up by myself so he could ‘go spend some quality time with his new girlfriend” Using my fingers to make quotation signs as I rolled my eyes.
“If I tell you it won’t be a surprise. Please Maddie! I’ve been planning this for a few weeks now and I know you’ll love it but we can’t be late.”
“Ugh! Okay, I’m up but there had better be coffee. You know I can’t function without it.” I look over at Caroline, trying to be stern, only to burst into a fit of laughter. She joins me in the giggles before she reached over and gave me a hug.
“You and your caffeine addiction. Don’t stress your pretty little head, coffee is in the kitchen and we’ll grab breakfast on the way” Caroline smiled as she crawled off the bed and headed toward the door.
“What should I wear on this little adventure of ours?” I asked with my eyebrow raised in question.
“Something comfortable but make sure it’s cute!” she said over her shoulder as she walked away.
I headed down the small hallway of our two-bedroom apartment and joined Caroline in the kitchen.
I sat down at the kitchen table while she poured a cup of coffee and handed it to me. Grateful, I took a swallow and sighed with relief.
“I don’t want to meet anyone, please. Can you make that my birthday present? I really don’t want to get cornered by some dickhead today. I got hit on enough last night to last me until my next birthday”
“No men. I promise. Today is about you, me, fun, and relaxation. It’s about celebrating the amazing day you came into the world.”
“If only everyone felt like you do.” I almost breathed out in an unspoken whisper.
Caroline finished pouring our coffee and she sat down at the table with me.
“I’m sorry Maddie! I didn’t think before I spoke.”
Holding up my hand to stop her, I see her eyes glistening with unshed tears. “No Caroline, it’s me. You know how I get sometimes. I guess I’m just having a pity party with today being my birthday. Don’t pay me any attention. I’ll be okay.” She had such a tender heart and I didn’t want my mood to affect her.
“No, I hurt your feelings and brought him up, even indirectly, and I am so, so sorry for that.”
“No apologies from you and no more pity from me. It’s his loss and I’m fine with it. Really, I am.” I shrugged my shoulders, trying to appear unaffected. “It’s been almost 14 years since the one and only time I ever saw him, so it is getting harder and harder to miss what I never had.”
She surveyed me with knowing eyes, looking for, I don’t know exactly, to let her know I really am okay and not thinking about my past. If it hadn’t had been for Caroline and her family, there was no telling where I would have ended up.
“Didn’t you say we had to be on the road by…” trying to divert her attention away from my shitty father and back to her birthday surprise that required me to be awake by six.
“Crap! We need to get moving if we’re going to make it on time to” she abruptly cut herself off and stared at me with her eyes wide “I almost slipped up and ruined your surprise” Giggling, she refilled my coffee and bounced down the hallway toward the bathroom.
“I’m going to grab a quick shower while you inhale your caffeine, but hurry, we don’t want to be late”
“I wish you would give me an idea where we are going” I groused, trying to gain anything on our destination. “You know I hate surprises.”
“Too bad, you’re going to have to deal with it because I have an entire day of stuff planned, so get a move on!” She shouted, pushing the bathroom door closed and starting the shower.
Caroline began singing at the top of her lungs, sounding like a cat getting drowned and nothing resembling the song she’s butchering.
Sighing, I wrap my hands around the warm mug of coffee and inhale the aroma, praying it will wake my brain up and get it focused on things I could actually have control over, instead of the jumble of memories currently rolling around my head.
“I don’t know why you brought her here, but you need to take her and leave” the angry man yells at my momma. “I told you I didn’t want anything to do with you or her. This is your mess, so clean it up”
“Please, we have nowhere else to go and she’s your responsibility as much as she is mine.” Momma begs the mean man.
I peer around her legs and look up at the giant, wishing I was bigger so I could help momma. She’s been so tired lately. Maybe this man will help us for but he scares me with the look I see when I glance up at him. He looks like a monster and I immediately know he won’t keep us safe.
